Overcoming the Odds & Healing Through Music Ashling’s Way

[00:00:00] Speaker A: We possibly get through this. We can't. [00:00:02] Speaker B: We can't. [00:00:03] Speaker A: We can't get through it by ourselves. We cannot, you know, no, no successful person is, is an island. No, no successful person got there by themselves. And so if you think that you can go through a tragedy and you could just go through it by yourself, you're taking the absolutely the hardest road you could choose to take. And this is why I feel it's so important for us to share what we are going through or what we have been through. [00:00:35] Speaker B: Now, writing your own story can be challenging when you don't know where to start, especially when you've contemplated whether you should exist or throw in a towel. Now hear the story of how God's power was unlocked through prayer, meditation and faith, and how that can transform our well being and guide us through life's darkest times. From overcoming abuse and cancer to finding her true voice in gospel music, Ashlyn's journey is a powerful testament to God's healing grace and the pursuit of authenticity. Let's not delay any longer. Let's get into this episode. Let's go, Ashland. Why not? You? All right. All right. Well, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, one more time. I am joined today by Ashlyn Cole, who's been on Sunday's best gospel recording artist. And one of the things I love about her is just her positivity, her willingness to minister through music, to touch people's souls and just inspire change. And I just want everybody just to be. Wow. Just welcome Miss Ashlyn Cole. Why not you? [00:01:50] Speaker A: Hey. So glad to be here. Derek, thank you so much for having me. [00:01:57] Speaker B: You are welcome. [00:01:58] Speaker A: This is great. This is great. I'm excited to get into this conversation. [00:02:02] Speaker B: This is good. Now, before I even get started, I was thinking about, like, who do you, I guess, when it comes to, like, recording artists, who are some of your, who are some of your favorites? Who you? I mean, I think that actually kind of got you started or that you actually looked up to. I mean, it's not one of the questions that I actually have, but I was like, I had to ask this one. [00:02:30] Speaker A: It's fine. So I actually studied opera to begin with. I was, yeah, starting from the age of six years old, and I was going to be a, you know, a diva, but a different kind of diva, and doing arias, you know? And it was, I think I was twelve years old and I heard Whitney Houston for the first time, and I was like, I don't want to do arias anymore. I want to do. I want to do that. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:55] Speaker A: And she just struck me because just the purity of her voice. But I understood that she wasn't a songwriter. And the way that she was able to take other people's songs and really tell the story was so intriguing to me. It was just so intriguing that she was, she could take somebody else's pen and turn it into her own and really put the emotion behind it. So, yeah, Whitney Houston was one of my very first influences. Mariah Carey was a big influence early on. But then, you know, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, and my parents, you know, I grew up listening to, like, bluesdeze, like bluegrass, blues. I didn't grow up listening to gospel music. I wasn't raised in church, so we didn't have. We didn't listen to gospel music. I didn't know who the Clark sisters were, and I didn't even know who the Hawkins were. [00:03:48] Speaker B: Wow. [00:03:49] Speaker A: And I'm in the Bay area. I didn't even know who the Hawkins were. I don't know who Walter Hawkins was. And I think the first time was a sister act with, oh, happy day, and I'm like, who are these people? They're literally in my neighborhood. They're my neighbors. So, yeah. And I think now what influences me is not necessarily an artist, but it's songs. Certain songs really inspire me. Just this morning, I was going through apple music and just looking, you know, getting a random playlist and just listening to songs to hear different stories and get to take inspiration from other people's writing. [00:04:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Now, do you feel like, like just when you're, like, listening to this music or whether it's, you know, you working out or you're going on a walk or in your car and you're listening to some music, and all of a sudden you just start feeling like, God, just kind of revealing stuff to you, and all of a sudden you start getting, like, these. These mental downloads, right? [00:04:47] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:04:48] Speaker B: It's so powerful. How do you. How do you process that? I mean, do you use that, like, just kind of store it away and be like, okay, I need to reflect on this a little later. [00:04:58] Speaker A: I'm kind of, like, feel it now kind of a person. I'm not really, like, you know, delay, delay for why? Like, it's here now. Let's, like, let's. Let's feel it. Let's talk about it. Let's deal with. Let's deal with it right now. So if that ever happens, I always, I always pay attention. I mean, yesterday, it's so funny that we're having this conversation today because yesterday, it was a very teary day. And, you know, people. People that know me know that I am very transparent. I'm very. I'm comfortable in my skin. I believe that my story happened for a reason, and there's no shame in my game. Okay? So if you ask me a question, I'm really an open book. And so yesterday, I was processing through some old emotions that I thought I had really resolved. I really thought, you know, how you. How you go through life and you have, you know, trauma and you have tragedy, and then you have triumph, and you. You process it. You know how you process it. But I was triggered by something, and I'm a. I believe you have to embrace your triggers. Like, I think that we're so quick to cut people off because. Oh, you're triggering me. Don't. No, no. Pay attention, because I feel like that's God's way of saying something needs to be worked on. Like, that's our little check engine light. You know, we feel that bubbling up of emotion. It could be tears. It could be anger. It could be frustration. Whatever it might be, pay attention to those little markers in life, because that's an opportunity to learn more about you and how God created you. So yesterday. Oh, I was crying all day. I was in church crying. My pastor was, you know how we say in church, walking down my street? [00:06:38] Speaker B: He was. [00:06:39] Speaker A: He was all on my street yesterday telling my business, and, you know, unbeknownst to him. But then I went into these. This music. I started listening to this music, and I was listening to even, like, luther Vandross. I needed. I needed to bubble that emotion up. I needed to be. Get it out of my body. And I used music yesterday to do that. And so I think that it's really important that we pay attention to that, because if we're talking about our spiritual walk, God talks to us in nouns. He talks to us through people, places, and things, right? And so that thing that he might be talking to you through, it might be music. It might be a song. It might be a conversation. Somebody might cut you off on the freeway. And that might be God's way of, like, telling you to pay attention. [00:07:29] Speaker B: That's right. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Like, there's all these things, but we could get mad. Oh, he's yelling at somebody for cutting us off instead of saying, oh, thank you, God, for putting me back into focus. Right. So life is just full of it. And I think that one should shift your perspective that the. You know, sometimes we think the world is against us. No, no, no. We're. We're in the world, but we're not of it. So if we're not of it, then operate as an observer. Always be observing, who is this person to me? What is the situation to me? What can I take from this? How can I learn from this? And music for me is, it's almost my first go to when I need to process through things. [00:08:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's amazing that you said that just about yesterday was kind of like one of those teary days for you, because yesterday was one of those. It was one of those times where I was like, man, what is. What is going on? Like, why am I feeling like, this anxiety or like this, this. This feeling that I have? And, you know, I just, I went into the gym through, on, through, went on YouTube and found some, some gospel. It was. It wasn't like gospel music. It was more like messages that were streamed together, but like little snippets. And through that, it was all about, you need to trust me. You need to express more love. You need to do this. You need. What is going on? So it's like. Right, yeah, you need to. Yeah. Right. You can't delay. You have to be in it now just to. So you just start working on it. Otherwise you just missed that opportunity. [00:09:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. It's Eric Thomas hat. You know, he said, I heard him say one time, you have to seize the opportunity of a lifetime, within the lifetime of the opportunity, meaning it doesn't necessarily come around. If it does, you know, comes around again, you're blessed and highly favored. But if it doesn't, if the opportunity is in front of you, or whatever it is, you fill in the blank, whatever that opportunity might be, it's there for a reason. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Right? [00:09:38] Speaker A: And if we let the doubts, the internal dialogue, the conversations, the past stories that we tell ourselves, like, all these things prevent us from walking forward, moving forward into the opportunity that obviously has been placed there. Now, not every opportunity is from God. Now we definitely have to have discernment. And when you're in alignment with your purpose, then those opportunities get. They become more and more clear, right? If somebody says, like, I waited tables in my youth, okay, I was a terrible, terrible waitress, okay? Terrible, terrible. People are still waiting for their catch up, baby. It's just like, they're still waiting. And so somebody called me and said, oh, I have a, you know, I have an event, a catering event. I need some help. Can you help? No, absolutely nothing. No, no, no, absolutely not. Paycheck or no paycheck? No. So, you know, that's just a silly example. But if you're not really clear on who you are, whose you are, and what your purpose is, you know, for being here, what your calling is, and God will let you know, like, the little gifts that you have, like the little. The little gifts and talents that you have, and that can be determined by what can you do, what comes easily to you that's difficult for others. [00:11:04] Speaker B: Right. [00:11:05] Speaker A: So if you have something, first, singing for me, singing for me is very easy. It's very, very simple. And for other people, I see people and they're like, how do you do that? I wish I could sing like that. And in my mind, I'm like, everybody can sing, but that's not true. So when God gives you something, that's your. That's your marker. What can I do easily that is difficult that other people struggle to do, and then if you hone in on that now, you can start building a business, because if you can do it easily and it's difficult for them. Oh, guess what? I can market that and begin to build a career solving problems for people doing something. That's super easy for me. [00:11:47] Speaker B: That's right. Because I already know I'm not the singing type. I mean, you better get. I maybe I could do some Lou raws or something like that. You'll never find. But as far as what you're talking about, a gift. [00:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Because you talk about a gift. I just. When you were talking, I just. It just made me think about Yolanda Adams, how it just sometimes just seemed like she's just talking and y'all, you just have this beautiful sound coming out of her mouth. This is crazy. [00:12:20] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:21] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely. And interesting. I think she was an english teacher. I think she was a. She was a teacher that was singing, and then she took a leap of faith and had this whole music career, but she, she didn't. That wasn't her original intention to be a gospel singer or an entertainer. She was in education, and, like, thank God she listened to that, because so many beautiful songs have come out of. Out of her and through her and. And. Absolutely. [00:12:50] Speaker B: That's amazing. So what, so what do you think? Was that like, that, that thing that actually sparked your personal growth and deepened your faith in God? [00:13:01] Speaker A: So, as I said earlier, I was not raised in church. I was raised by an atheist father and an agnostic mother, which is shocking to people. If I ever say that in a church, you could hear the church go, oh, like, it's a terrible thing. My parents were amazing, beautiful people, though. They were beautiful people. My father, you know, fought for civil rights in San Francisco. He was an advocate for human rights, and. And so I was, you know, a little girl and on picket lines and. And, you know, fighting for. For equality and all that stuff. So he really instilled that in me. Yeah, growing up, but he was an atheist. He did not believe in God. My mother didn't either. And so when I got saved, I, you know, I was 23, and when I told my mom, my mom literally said, where did I go wrong? And I'm like, yes, it was crazy. And, like, to me, it's like, you did everything right, you know? And even though I didn't have a relationship with God, God had a relationship with me. And so for me to know that, right, that even though I wasn't looking to him, he was watching over me. And so it was such a wonderful, like, reunited. And if he feels so good, like, when I. When I got to know God, when I. When I had the. The conversation, and it was Ruby long, she was the first lady at South Bay community church in Fremont, California. And she was the first person to really talk to me about faith and about Jesus and about, you know, doing what we call the right hand of fellowship. And so that really changed me. But I think that it was, you know, there were so many things. At 20 years old, I attempted suicide. And, like. And I'm not talking about, like, oh, let me just fake this, you know, whatever, so I can get some attention. No, no, no. I was. I had found myself in an abusive, a physically abusive, emotionally abusive relationship. At 20 years old. I was afraid for my life every day, and I did not know if I was going to survive. I literally did not know. I had told my mom, you know, if anything ever happens to me, know that. That it was him. [00:15:12] Speaker B: Right? [00:15:13] Speaker A: And so I just decided somehow that the only way out of the relationship was to take my life. And I tried very, very hard to die. I went into a bathroom and just grabbed everything that I could, you know, anything that I could consume. And I remember the feeling of, like, collapsing to the floor and feeling peace for the very first time. [00:15:35] Speaker B: Wow. [00:15:36] Speaker A: And then I woke up in the emergency room, and so, you know, somebody had found me. They called an ambulance. I was able, you know, they revived me at the hospital, but God had another plan for me. And there was an attending at the hospital that started having conversations with me and finally said, you don't belong here. This is not the path for your life. And so that was the biggest shifting, because a part of me did die that day. And I was able to start a new existence and learn about how I'm loved, and I was beautifully and wonderfully made and all these scriptures that I had no idea even existed. And then the second real transformative moment in my life was being diagnosed with breast cancer, and that was in 2018. I had just watched my mom pass away from breast cancer. Wow, two years. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And so I think that, you know, as children, when we see our parents or we see family members going through things, we think, oh, well, that's our bloodline. And so that's going to be my story, too. And somewhere, instinctively, I just said, no, that's not going to be my story. That was my mom's story. And I get to write a new story. I get to partner with God and write a whole new story. And I just declared over my life, I'm already healed. I just have to go through the process. And so, you know, chemo, it was painful and tough when I tell you, tough. Losing all my hair and, you know, and all the things, you know, it was the process. So I celebrated it, you know, surgeries. I had multiple surgeries over multiple years, and I celebrated it because it was part of the process. Process. And so, you know, here I am then. It's 2018, so we're six years post diagnosis, and I am healed. You know, I don't even think about it. And I never say. I never say, oh, I had. I never saved. I never say that. I never claim it. At any point of the journey. I never claimed it that it was. Some people say, oh, my. You know, and. And the. The disorder of the disease. Oh, this is my thing. They lay claim on it. I'm like, no, watch your words. Your words matter. So, yeah, those were two very, very significant moments in my life. And the first one, you know, attempting suicide, I did not have a relationship with God, but that was the gateway to get me to understand something. Something's at work here. Something is. Something bigger than me is at work, and I want to find out what that is. [00:18:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. I wish I could remember the name of this pastor, but his. His experience was, it wasn't that he tried to commit suicide, but he just was associating with the wrong people. And he got caught up in this situation where he ended up getting stabbed multiple times, and somebody found him and had not had nothing, people found him, his life would have been overdeveloped. But once he. Once he was in the hospital, you know, of course you started having these. These epiphanies. You start really reflecting on, what is my life really about? And he said, that's when God spoke to him. It's almost like Paul, you know? [00:19:14] Speaker A: Right. [00:19:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And your faith. Wow. I mean, that's. That's a whole. That's a whole nother type of faith right there, because now you're in the midst of it, and you can't rely on yourself. You can't save yourself. It's all about God. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I think about people that go through health situations or the death of a spouse or the death of a child. Tragedies, hard things. How can we possibly get through this? We can't. [00:19:45] Speaker B: We can't. [00:19:46] Speaker A: We can't get through it by ourselves. We cannot. You know. No. No successful person is. Is an island. No. No successful person got there by themselves. And so if you think that you can go through a tragedy and you could just go through it by yourself, you're taking the absolutely the hardest road you could choose to take. And this is why I feel it's so important for us to share what we are going through or what we have been through, because if I didn't share my story, and a lot of people have told me, they have looked to me for inspiration while they are going through breast cancer because of my attitude of gratitude, because I never was like, oh, this is the end of my life. Never once. I have way too much living to do. I said, oh, no, God's gonna. He's gonna take me out like this. He's not gonna let this happen. But it was my responsibility to partner with Goddess. So God wants to heal me, but I'm up here talking, complaining. I don't feel good. Why is this happening to me? And God is looking like, I partner with me in this healing process. And so we have a responsibility, but, you know, we go through things, share. You ain't got to tell. Don't throw out all your dirty laundry now, but tell people, this is what happened. This is what I was facing, and this is how God brought me through it. And I'm on the other side, and I'm so much better because, you know, x, y, z. Right. And so when people then see that hope or they see that healing or that deliverance or that transformation, then they can say, oh, what must I do? I, too, can have, you know that, you know, how can I. How can I get to that point? And then we have an opportunity of discipleship. But if we're just talking about, well, if you don't believe in God, you're going to hell. That's not discipleship. That's not, that's not, that's condemnation. And there's no condemnation in crisis. So, so for us to, we have to use what we have. You know, like, I have a friend that's going through. She's, she's diagnosed with terminal cancer now. It's, it's, it's all through her body. And she and I were diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time. Two different types of cancer, right. Which we don't have to get into the details of that. If, you know, you know, if not, you can google it. But her cancer spread, and now she is, you know, she's just everywhere in her body. And so I was like, well, what can we do to encourage her in a way that's really special and unique and personal? And so I sing. Some of our other mutual friends sing. So we, we knocked on her door last week and surprised her. She put up at her front door and sang for her, just at her front door. And so if you're going through something, use what you have. Don't, don't try to like, oh, should I buy a plant? Should I, should I send flowers? Should I, what should I, should I, what can you do that's unique to you that can encourage somebody? Utilize that. If you're a writer, write them. Write them a poem. That's right. If you're a builder, see if you can fix the deck at their house. Like, if you're, you know what I'm saying? Like, find unique ways to, like, bless people again. Going back to what's easy for you, that's difficult for other people. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Yeah. I should have been writing notes because you made me think about so many things. [00:23:27] Speaker A: You might have to corral me. I get, I get on a tangent. I do my little mini tangent because I'm excited. I really am so excited about what God has done in my life. And I think it's because I spent half my life not knowing about God and half my life having a relationship with God. And so I think that I'm so passionate because I was an adult. I can look back over 23 to 24 years of my life knowing how difficult that was, not having a place to cast my cares, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, believing that everything that I get is deserved, not knowing what grace was, not knowing what mercy was, not knowing what joy that surpasses all understanding, not knowing any of those things. And then to be an adult, I get excited. So, sorry, not sorry. I will. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Well, listen, I appreciate that because it's like, one of the things that I share with people that I get the opportunity to work with when you know, who are, who might be struggling, because it has a lot to do with your mindset and how you actually look at things. Because if you just look at it as a state of a problem, you're always going to be stuck in this place where it actually takes you out. And all of a sudden you just start worrying a whole lot. And so now you're no longer present, you're no longer trying to solve the problem, but when you can actually come to a place, okay, this is what I'm going through, and it's almost like accepting it as well because. And that's hard as well, especially when it's something, like, devastating. Like you, I just, like, man, I really. Okay, I'm diagnosed with this. I need to accept this so now I can start working towards my healing. And part of that healing is the mindset, man. Yeah, it's powerful. It's powerful. We could actually help somebody transform like that. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Absolutely. You said something. You use the word acceptance, and I think that there's a gray area with acceptance. Right. Like, we want to be in acceptance versus denial, which is why it's so important to go to the doctor. Just go to the doctor. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Just go. [00:25:42] Speaker A: It's better for you to know than not to know. And if you're a person of faith, if you know, then you know how to pray for yourself. You know how to ask people to pray for you. If you don't know and you're just guessing, like, you know, God really tells us, be specific. Like, be very, very specific in your prayers. Right. And so, yeah, take care of yourself. Go to the doctor and. And then if you are given a diagnosis that doesn't sit well, like, trust that instinct. I knew that I, breast cancer wasn't going to take me out. I knew that. But the doctor said, you know, well, this is stage whatever, and this is the most aggressive form of breast, so I could have taken that on accepting. I'm in a state of acceptance of this is my diagnosis. But there's a gray area because really, if we're believers, then God has the final say, and then it goes back to then partnering with God. God, what would you have me to do? And asking him, order my steps. And scripture says, order my steps in your word. So what are the scriptures that are going to help me through? What book should I be reading? If you've never read the Bible, start in psalms. You know what I mean? Like, there's. There are so many great, just words of inspiration that you can pull from, from the Bible, you know? So, yeah, so that, that acceptance piece is like, make sure that you know what's going on with your body, but don't, don't settle at the first diagnosis that somebody says, oh, this is your face, and it doesn't even have to be sickness. It could be like, you're never going to succeed. You think your business is going to blossom, but you're not. That's a terrible idea. People will get in your ear because of their own garbage. Right. Don't just accept, but also be bold. Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified for the Lord God is with you wherever you go. Right. So. So walk in that faith. And sometimes you got to step out on faith. [00:27:50] Speaker B: It is. [00:27:51] Speaker A: Yep. [00:27:52] Speaker B: You sure do. So how, you know, how has this or your just, your transformational journey inspired the kind of music that you make or sing? [00:28:05] Speaker A: So I've always been someone who, like, even before I had a relationship with God, I've always been modest. That's just kind of my personality. I was a shy. I was a shy girl. I know it's hard to believe, but I was a shy girl. And so, you know, certain content, it was not appropriate. It was not appropriate. And so, you know, even though I grew up, you know, really in the eighties, you know, in eighties, nineties, and music was definitely cleaner then than it is now. My God. But I choose to sing songs or work on projects that I connect with emotionally. So if it's. If it's somebody else's story, but I can find some, you know, similarities in there, and there's really not. There's not. There's not really anything that we cannot connect with, you know, because we're all having this human experience. And so if you find. And I teach this to my students, I teach choir in a middle school in Oakland. And so one of my ways of teaching them, when I bring them a piece of music is to talk about the story. What are you hearing the words saying? What do you think the writer was trying to convey? What is this message now? How can we make this personal? Is there a time or was there a time in your life that you felt this, that you experienced this, that you saw this, that you dealt with this? How can we make this personal to you? We're going to use their words, but we're going to use our experience and our emotion. And so if it's a piece of music, and I also write songs as well, which is great therapy for me because I you know, I can just write through a situation and then I'm telling my own story. But if I'm, if I'm telling someone else's story, it's important that I can connect with it emotionally, because in ministry, for me, it's not singing songs. I'm not out here traveling the world to sing songs. I'm being used in a way to encourage people. And God wired me to be a natural encourager. I don't care who you are, what, you know, black, white, red, purple, green. I don't care what your economic, it doesn't matter to me what you going through. Let's talk about it and let's find a situation. Let's find a solution to the situation. Every cloud has a silver lining. So let's just find it. You know? Let's find it. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Yeah. So when you're teaching music, like, what is, what is a message? Or what are you trying to, like, get across to your students for them to actually pick up on and be like, okay, now this is something that I can actually apply to my life somehow or some form of fashion. [00:30:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. Well, I try to always ask myself, am I a safe space? And so I want to always be, you know, non judgmental. I want to be when, when kids walk in the room, all they want is for you to light up. That's it. When you walk, when they walk in the room, just give them a smile, know their name, acknowledge them by name. That's really important as teachers, that you can begin to make those connections. But I brought music, so for the graduation, I just started this year, and so it was the last semester before graduation, and so we were able to perform at a series of events in the school and also at the graduation. And the song that I brought was I am healed by Donald Lawrence. And this song, it basically, because you have to be careful. You can't really talk about God in the schools, and you can't like about that, so. Right. So I picked. I chose this song a because it has an amazing, amazing message, but also I was able to, like, change a couple words. [00:32:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:07] Speaker A: So that it was more universal. And so the start. The song starts off saying, I've got a story to tell about some things that I've been through, but I'm healed. And I had some ups and some downs leveled to the ground, but I'm healed. Right. And so they were able to learn these words, and I could just see their. Their, you know, in their minds. They're like, I do have a story to tell. I have been through ups and downs, I have felt that I've been level to the ground, but I'm healed. Okay? I want to. I want to start using that in my life. And I just. I watch them transform through this message and through this music. Now they're more oxygenated because they're singing, and you've got to breathe differently when you sing. And so oftentimes, our kids, they're not very active. They're not getting the nourishment and the nutrients that they need. So now it's, like, tenfold. Now I'm teaching them a song. They're breathing properly. They're getting oxygenated. They're getting a message of hope and encouragement. I'm like, okay, God, I see how you put me in the school, and I'm just doing all of this. I'm, like, with this. With this one assignment. Right? And so that has been absolutely amazing. And so I. You know, we're. We're working on a grant. This is through a company called town Business in Oakland, through elevate Oakland, which is an organization that Sheila E. Started some years ago. And so I'm waiting on grantsd to make sure that we can be in the school next year. So if y'all gonna be praying for me, pray that we get that big old grant so that we can get back in the school and continue teaching these kids and giving them just a message of encouragement and hope. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Yeah, and that's. That's pretty fascinating. He talked about breathing techniques, and I didn't even think about, you know, I know as. As a. As an artist, you have to breathe differently, but it really didn't. I really didn't. I don't think I started breathing right till I actually started doing some type of meditation where you have to do breathing. [00:34:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:14] Speaker B: And it makes a difference. It makes a difference. When you. You inhale through your nose, you hold it for a while, and then you just release, and it's like, man, it's like you're just releasing a whole bunch of, like, toxins or burdens. Whatever it is that's. That's on you. Breathing. Breathing is huge. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I would even, you know, for your listeners that are listening today, just. I would encourage you to just take a minute right now and just take a deep breath. And there's a. There's a. There's a thing called box breathing that has been proven to stop anxiety. If you're in a situation where you need to make a decision or you're having some, you know, some what, whatever. Some doubt or some something. Box breathing. You breathe in for a four count. So you breathe in 1234, you'd hold it two, three, four. Then you exhale two, three, four, and you hold it two, three, four. You can go on YouTube and, you know, you get a timer and there's, there's all kinds of resources for that. It's called box breathing. But if you do that three or four times, it's going to literally shift. It's really, it's miraculous that we have our own antidepressant built in to our bodies. We have our own, you know, anti anxiety medicine built into our bodies and it's oxygen. And oftentimes, like myself, we shallow breathe in our lives. We just shallow breathe because we don't really think about breathing, right, because God is just letting the air come in and out. But if you stop and, like, take a deep breath, then literally your eyesight gets better. Your brain now you're operating a higher function because your brain is getting the oxygen it needs. So it's definitely something that I incorporate in my, in my day. And meditation is a great way of doing that as well. If you connect with, you know, a meditation practice, the calm app, YouTube, whatever it is, there's just tons of resources. You do that, but absolutely oxygenate your body. And if you're sitting, you know, this is, I call this my, my sit, stand, walk, run rule. If you're sitting, stand up. If you're standing up, walk. If you're walking, run. And it works in the opposite. That's, that's. If you're, if you feel like you're not being productive, right, shift. Shift your energy forward. But you can also do it in reverse. If you feel like you're, you're sputtering, you're doing too much, you're spinning out. If you're running, walk. If you're walking, stand. If you're standing, sits. And sometimes if we're sitting, we need to lay down. You might, you might need to take a nap. You might be doing too much. You might not. You know what I'm saying? You might be running on films. So that's another way to just shift your physical position into another position to really get that. Either increase your energy or decrease it. [00:37:27] Speaker B: Right. And I think what you just said, one of the things that I never really did, and I'm actually thankful for is having a raise, a desk that actually raises so I can stand, yes, at times. And then, you know, when I get tired of standing, I might sit it back down, but I try not to sit too long. Because I don't know, whatever reason, it just the, I'm not trying to get all scientific, but the gut area, you just don't want to be sitting too long, right? [00:38:00] Speaker A: That's right. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah. You have to stand and start walking like you were saying it, to get things flowing and moving. [00:38:06] Speaker A: That's real. That's real. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you get clearer thoughts. And that's the thing. If you're having a hard time making a decision, we tend to grind it out. We tend to, like, I'm going to sit here until I make a decision. I'm going to sit at this desk. I'm going to grind this thing out until I can make a decision. And you're, when you move, shift, just take five minutes. I used to tell one of my clients, and she would get very, she's a high pilot, for those of you that know the flight assessment, she's high pilot, very focused, results oriented. She would sit at her desk for hours and hours just grinding out work. I said, girl, take a walk. Put everything down. If you need to take your phone. For safety reasons, take your phone. But other than that, walk out your door and go. Just walk around the block. [00:39:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:01] Speaker A: And, man, when I tell you, that will just shift your whole perspective, because again, you're getting all the things that, the nutrients. And also drink a glass of water. That was also part of, part of the assignment, right. Go drink some water and then go walk around the block. And sure enough, nine times out of ten, she would say, I would come down and sit down, and the answer would just be right there for me. And then she'd be able to move on to the next task as opposed to spending 3 hours trying to grind it out. Just go take a walk. Give your body what it needs, and you're. And it will repay you with, you know, the necessary things that you're looking for, that you're seeking. [00:39:37] Speaker B: And that is so true because that's me. I'm that, I'm that pilot. So I'll just, I'll sit at the desk. And it's, when I get to that place, it's like I have to get out of that, that, that unconscious moment where it's just like I'm operating on autopilot and be conscious of what I'm doing. It's like, okay, yeah, I'm not making any progress. Let's do something else. And so this, and that's when I actually get up and I might go for a walk. And if I'm walking, it's probably like a one and a half, you know, mile and a half, 2 miles. But just that clarity, just getting out in the sun. Let it radiate, let it be, moment for a minute, um, breathe some fresh air instead of just being in this stale room, you know, it works. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:40:19] Speaker B: It's. It's good for. [00:40:21] Speaker A: Absolutely. And then when you do it consistently, then you. Then you. Now you formed a, you know, a habit, but also a process, right? So then you, then it feels more natural. When you can't get the answer that you need or you can't fix what's in front of you, then you naturally just go, all right, cool. Let's take a walk. Then it becomes second nature, and then now you can move to the next level quicker as well, more efficiently. [00:40:47] Speaker B: It is so true. Now, how are you using just your own personal story, you know, just in faith and to inspire others, you know, during their spiritual journey? [00:41:01] Speaker A: So I mentioned the choir. I mentioned teaching choir, which has been absolutely amazing. And I also, like, if I go to ministry events, people fly me all over the world to do different events, women's conferences or church events or anniversaries or whatever it might be, which is such a blessing. I just feel so, so privileged to get to do that. But I always. My prayer ahead of time is always, God, show me what the need of the room is. So I remember I was at a ministry event, and of course, I know my testimony. I know that I attempted suicide at 20 years old. But I don't need to, like, blab that everywhere, because it might not be the need of the room. You know what I mean? I might just be oversharing just for the sake of sharing. So I would say, God, tell me what the need of the room is. Tell me what is the need of the room to the point where I was at a church and I couldn't shake. I couldn't shake this feeling that somebody in the room was contemplating suicide. Now, I'm, you know, I'm not. I'm not real. I don't understand all the, you know, the spiritual realm and all that stuff. Like, is it possible that, you know, discernment is, like, on a spiritual level? Absolutely. It's totally possible. So did God tell me? I don't know. All I know is my instincts that somebody is contemplating suicide in this room. And if that's my prayer and God answers prayer. Okay, now, God, thank you for that message. So I had an agenda of, like, what, you know, how much time I had and what songs I was gonna sing and all that stuff, and I was just like, I, you know, I need to deviate from what it is that the plan is, and I just need to share because I feel like somebody in the room is contemplating suicide. And I shared about being 20 years old and having no hope and no relationship with God and not knowing where to turn and not knowing what to do and, you know, trying to take my life and feeling peace for the first time and, like, how God took that and used it and brought me, you know, all those things literally. This actually happened twice. I'm now just remembering. This has happened twice. This happened once years ago, before I really got into ministry. But I was at a church and someone asked me to sing, my very first time singing a solo at church. And this young man reached out, I think we have MySpace at that time, and he sent me a message and said I was contemplating suicide. I happened to come to that church, and your testimony changed my mind about taking my life. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Wow. [00:43:44] Speaker A: And he's thriving now today. Right. And so. And the second time was a young lady that I didn't know. I did know the young man from before, but this second one, this young lady was someone that I did not know. And she came up to me after and said I was contemplating suicide. And now she has a different perspective and she has hope, and she's going to get the help that she needs. And so I think that it's important. You know, sharing is. Is great, but sharing the wrong thing, it's like using. Like you wouldn't use your car key to open the front door of your house, right? Right. You have a key and it works and it has a purpose and it can start the car if it's used in the right way. But if I have it, if I'm just over sharing or just trying to, I'm just going to tell it all, it's not appropriate. So learning how to operate in those situations, to know what to say, when to say, how to say it, how much to say, then, you know, and then being able to shift from. I know this is probably difficult for you as a pilot. See, I'm a flight attendant, so I can be swivel. I can shift and move as I need to, but then I can say, okay, we're going to move from this because it's over here. And the need is now shifted to this need over here. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:04] Speaker A: And so, yeah, so I've definitely learned, and I hope I always am learning new ways. New, you know, new, just new ways of expressing, you know, myself and my relationship with God in an effort to help people, because that's at the core of everything. I just want to help people. I just, you know, I'm a flight attendant, grounds crew, for those of you that are following along at home. Yeah. So I want to help people. I want to be that support person. I want to make sure that you succeed. And sometimes I want you to succeed more than I want myself to succeed. And so it's a, you know, it's a. It's a balancing act. It's finding that rhythm between not doing things to my own detriment, you know, helping. But if, you know, if I help you, how is this going to help us? Let's. Let's go together. Let's do it together. [00:45:57] Speaker B: But how does that. How does that make you feel, though, you know, when you're actually just in a place where you can actually listen and hear God speaking to you? Because he says, all right, I need you to go this route instead of going this route, even though this was an intention, we need to deviate a little bit because there are some people that really need to hear this message, and only you can deliver it. That has to be a good feeling, especially knowing that God trusts you with it. Right. [00:46:28] Speaker A: That's huge what you said right there, because I don't know that that was a maturing process, you know, because, you know, God. There's a song called ordinary people. God uses ordinary people, right. Just, you know, people like you and me to do great things, right. And it's an incredible feeling of, can I quiet myself enough to hear, you know, God speaking? Can I. Can I. Can I stop myself? You know, I'm an over preparer. I want to definitely be prepared, and I practice and I rehearse and I do my vocal warm ups and I do all these things. But at the end of the day, it's God's will. Right? It might be my story, but it's his glory. And so I have to be able to humble myself to say I am merely a vessel, right? If he's the potter and I'm the clay, I have to be moldable, I have to be malleable. I have to be able to stretch. I have to. Sometimes, you know, that stretching process can be painful, can be. Can be challenging, can be tough to go through. But at the end of the day, anything other than that, then it's my will. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:47] Speaker A: If it's anything outside of that, it's my will. And I know that my will is nothing compared to God's will. I have a vivid imagination, but I can't even begin to know the thoughts that he has for me or the plans that he has for me and the level of love that he has for me. I could never comprehend it. And so why would I lean to my own understanding? One of my favorite scriptures. Lean not to your own understanding. And in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your path. I want always for him to direct my path. So that means a daily dying to self. And that requires discipline, that requires surrender. It requires, you know, to be uncomfortable sometimes, but the reward is moments like that, right? Moments where I thought this thing was going to go one way, and then all of a sudden, I can't shake this feeling, and I'm like, okay. I know that that's how God speaks to me. And so I'm like, okay, God, I feel the nudge, you know, like, pushing me in another direction, and I'm like, okay, let me pay attention. And now this young lady, her. Her parents don't have to be at a funeral. [00:48:57] Speaker B: That's right. Yeah. [00:49:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:02] Speaker B: I'm just. Man, just so many things. So many things. Just how God moves and how he operates. And man, it's the. When you're. When you're actually obedient, even though you don't know the outcome, you just follow God sometimes and leading you down this path, and you're like, where am I going? Where am I going with? I don't know what the. With the outcome, what the end result is going to be, but I just have to trust. And I just think about, like, Moses, you know, leading the people out of Egypt, and here he is, spirits, a miracle after miracle, just going through the desert, being led by the pillar, a fire at night, and then, oh, my God. And I'm like, just, okay, now you come to a crossroads, and it's like, not all dead ends are bad, because God is going to create an opening in that dead end. Just like Moses experienced at the Red Sea, where he was just like, okay, now you're going to part this Red Sea. Even though you got all this stuff coming after you, coming after you. You come to a place where you just got to throw your hands up and like, God, what do I do? What do I do? And he's like, I got you. I got you. I led you here. I'm not going. I didn't lead you here for you to fail and leads you here to die. I led you here so I could be glorified. And I'm about to glorify myself. [00:50:22] Speaker A: Absolutely. Hallelujah for that. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I love one of the, you know, as I study scripture, I remember reading, you know, one of our basic scriptures. You know, he's Alpha and Omega. He's the beginning and the end. Okay? Right. So he could have said he's alpha or I omega, which means that he's with you in the beginning. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Right. [00:50:48] Speaker A: Or he's with you at the end. He'll be with you, but it'll just be the beginning or the end. But he didn't say alpha or omega. He said alpha and omega, which means that he'll be with you in the beginning and the end and everything in between. And so the way that I apply that to my life is that don't confuse the and with the end. And so if you're in the, and you're in the midst of something you're going through, you're in the valley. He's not done with you yet because he said, I'm going to be with you in the beginning and the end, which means everything in between. And so that's so encouraging and I hope that it's encouraging to somebody else that when you're going through your go through and you will, you know, my pastor says you're either in a storm on your way out of a storm or on your way into a storm. Okay? And so you know the storm is coming, but how you respond to it is going to determine how long you stay in it. Right. Because you could, you could be running from the storm and you're actually running with the storm. And so it's going to, it's going to be prolonged. Right. Sometimes we just have to stand still and be in the storm and let it pass over us as opposed to running from it, which then we could be running in it. So just remember that if you're going through it, if he brought you to it, he's going to bring you through it. And just to be encouraged and pay attention, while you're in the valley, you might as well learn something. You might as well look around. You might as well see what the valley looks like because you might have to give directions to somebody else that's coming behind you that's going to be in the valley. Well, let me, let me find out the topography of the valley. Let me find out what the, you know, I'm saying, are there animals down here? Are there snakes or, or whatever? Let me find out what the valley is really about so that I can encourage somebody else that's going through it. [00:52:46] Speaker B: That is good. He said, well, I can't even say topography. [00:52:55] Speaker A: How deep is this valley. How deep is the valley? That's right. [00:53:02] Speaker B: So what are. What are some of the, like, common roadblocks or challenges that you see that. That people might face in their spiritual growth? And how do you help them, like, just navigate that? [00:53:18] Speaker A: I mean, we're the biggest roadblock ourselves, right. Sometimes we're the only roadblock. [00:53:25] Speaker B: Right. [00:53:26] Speaker A: Sometimes what we're complaining about is self inflicted. [00:53:29] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:53:31] Speaker A: And I think that we give the devil too much credit, and oftentimes it's like, who. Who are you hanging around with? Who are you talking to? Who are you spending time with? And then what are you spending your time thinking about what you have to protect? Your gate, your eye gates, your ear gates. That's a real old school church, but protect the gates, right? So what are you watching? How. What. What is your timeline look like on social media? Are you. Is it all doom and gloom? If you come and look at my Instagram thread, it's nothing but positivity and encouragement and stories of wonderful, you know, weddings and, you know, birthdays and positive messages. That's all I see on my instagram, because I get to control and choose the narrative that I want. The algorithm. I do have a say so in the algorithm. And so what is the algorithm of your life? Who are you hanging around? How are you speaking over yourself when you look at. Like, when you get up in the mirror, you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth? Are you looking at yourself? [00:54:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:39] Speaker A: Do you make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and say, great morning. I'm so glad to see you again today? Look at us. Look at how. Come on, God, look at what you did here. Right? Are you taking time to really thank God for what he's done? The little bitty things. God, thank you that I still have toothpaste in the toothpaste thing. Thank you, God. And thank you that there's something in the account. If I need to go buy some more, I can. Right. The little things in life. So I think, like you, you get to speak those things that are not as though they were, but that that happens on a positive way, but it can also happen on the negative. Right. [00:55:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:55:15] Speaker A: We sometimes speak negative things as though they were, and they're not. They're just in our head. They're the monster under the bed, which is just an imaginary thing. And so I think that that's so important. You can partner with God. You get to partner with God. What do you mean? It's not a dictatorship? No, it is nothing. Absolutely not. You know, he's all knowing and all seeing and all being. He's omnipresent and omniscient and all those things, and he's greater than us and bigger than us and all of that stuff. But if. I know. And since we're talking about the flight assessment, as a pilot, flight attendant, grounds crew, we depend on the air traffic controller because they're higher than we are. They have different equipment in the tower that we don't have. And so the air traffic controller can see when it's safe for you to, you know, go take off. We can't take off. As great of a pilot as you are, you can go nowhere until the air traffic controller says that it's safe. Right, right. Even though you know how to fly the plane, you know how to get us there safely, you cannot do anything until they say go. And so if you think of God in that way, like, God is like our air traffic controller. He sits high, he looks low, he sees all, he knows what's on the other side of the wall. He has orchestrated things and people and places to help you and guide you. Like you said, if you get to a dead end, just maybe you need to take a break. Maybe you need to just take a pause and sit there for a minute and say, okay, God, now, what's next? As I began to partner with God, it literally transformed my life into a place where I wake up in the morning excited about what God has. What, what are we doing today? God? You know, and it's just like, it's just changed everything. And so I think that that's so important when you're going through, take inventory on who's around you, what's around you. What are you saying? What are you. Are you hydrated? Or what are you eating? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you exercising or, like, all these things? If. If he gave us this vessel to take care of and be a good steward of it, are you being a good steward over the body that he gave you? [00:57:39] Speaker B: That's right. [00:57:40] Speaker A: So I think it's really important that we ask ourselves the questions first. And when we take inventory, sometimes we have more tools in our tool shed than we actually know. And we don't know because they've been sitting there, Dusty, and we haven't, like, really thought of it. And some things we think of as a burden, and it's actually a blessing. Like, I'm divorced. I know I'm gonna get married again. I just, you know, I just need a prospect, that's all. That's all, you know? And and God will send him. God will send him when it's time, when I'm ready, you know, he'll send me the right one. And in the meantime, you know, I wait in faith, knowing that, you know, I'm not going to, you know, spend time with hyenas when I'm waiting for the lion, you know, I'm not for the king. I'm not. I'm not gonna be spending time down here, you know, waiting for my king, right? Why would I do that? Why would I waste time doing that? Because I know that God has that for me. And so, you know, how are you waiting, my good, dear, dear friend, Lena bird Miles? She's an amazing gospel artist from right here in the Bay area. And I saw her at a conference recently, and she was talking about waiting on God. And she used an example of, when we go to a restaurant and there are people waiting on us, they're making sure that we have everything that we need. They're making sure we have water and the food and utensils and everything that we need. What if we did that for God while we were waiting? That we waited on him? God, what do you need? What can I do for you? What can I give you? God. So as I'm waiting for you to show me, what can I actively do to serve you? And I just thought that was so good because you want to be actively waiting. Waiting does not mean doing nothing and being passive. It's not idle at all. It is. It's being active, but being active, doing the right things that are. That are, you know, as you're. As you're waiting for the answer. So why not wait on God? Why not serve God while you are waiting for. For him to guide you? [00:59:59] Speaker B: That's right. Cha ching. Yep. [01:00:01] Speaker A: That's it. [01:00:01] Speaker B: For real. That is so true. Yeah. Because people think. Yeah. I don't know. Just that, that whole waiting, that whole waiting process, it's. Nobody likes to wait. Nobody likes to wait because we're so. We want everything now, but it's so much growth and learning that takes place in that waiting phase. And if you. If you just rush it beyond God's control, you just like, you know what, God? I got this. Boy, we could tear it up real quick, and then next thing you know, we're waiting even longer. I can't trust you. You can't even wait on me. I was right down the road, and all of a sudden you're just gonna take off and leave me? [01:00:48] Speaker A: That's so funny. I remember thinking, like, God was being really quiet with me in a season. And I was waiting on, you know, what's my. Every year, I ask God, what's my assignment for this year? And so it was the beginning of. I can't remember. Anyway, let's just. Let's just say last year, I can't remember when it was, but I was like, God, I need my assignment. I need my assignment. I need my assignment. He just was quiet. He was just not talking to me. I wasn't getting any answers. I was like, what did I do? Am I on punishment? Am I on timeout? What is going on? And the revelation was he had already told me what to do. I hadn't done it. [01:01:26] Speaker B: Wow. [01:01:27] Speaker A: He had given me an assignment, and I had rejected the assignment. And then I got the nerve to come ask him for an assignment when he already gave me the assignment that I did not fulfill. And so why would he? He's like, I already told you. I already. You already know what to do. And I did. That's the thing. I knew what I was supposed to do. And I'm just, like, being, you know, disobedient. Yeah, I was just being disobedient. And I just finally said, okay, God, I see what it is. And so as I began to accept the assignment, now, now the dialogue begins, okay, great, because now I'm back in alignment. It only takes that one little, you know, like a chiropractic. You know, when you get out of alignment, it only takes one tiny vertebrae. [01:02:16] Speaker B: That's it. That is. [01:02:18] Speaker A: And you might be in bed for three weeks. You might tweak, come on. You might tweak one little tiny bone in your back, and you might be laid out for three weeks. And so it's not if you're going to be out of alignment, but it's how quickly you get back into alignment. Because I know some of us, we throw our backs out, and then we do lay in the bed for three weeks. Instead of going to see somebody to help put you back, go see a chiropractor. Go see whatever you need to do to get back in alignment quickly. So it's not that you're ever, that you're not ever going to get out of alignment. It's how quickly you get the adjustment to get back into alignment. [01:02:57] Speaker B: You got to really be in a place where you actually recognize. You're like, do I really want the help? Because if you don't want the help, you guys might as well stay there. But if you really want help, you're gonna be proactive, and you're gonna take some kind of action and show God, listen, I'm ready. I'm ready. God. Because those are the kind of people that actually show up to help you, is when you start taking that initiative and taking some kind of action, people start recognizing like, okay, Ashlyn is ready now. We can start helping her. Let's. Let's go in and. [01:03:26] Speaker A: Come on. [01:03:27] Speaker B: Let's go. Let's go. [01:03:29] Speaker A: That's good. [01:03:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Nobody wants to help because they like, why should I invest my time in you? And they're not even willing to invest time in yourself. [01:03:37] Speaker A: Right? Yeah, that's right. I heard somebody say, like, if you run out of gas and you're on the side of the road and you're just standing next to your car, people don't stop. But as soon as you try to push your own car, we've seen it time and time again, you'll see somebody pushed in their own car through the intersection. And now all of a sudden, all these people get out of their cars to help. [01:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:00] Speaker A: Because they see you doing the work. So let people catch you doing the work and see how quickly they're going to want to partner with you. Because they. Because it's easier to come alongside somebody who has forward motion. Because now, collectively, we can create momentum. [01:04:18] Speaker B: Right. [01:04:19] Speaker A: But it's harder. You can't create momentum until you first start moving. There's no momentum without movement. And so, you know, let people catch you in motion, and you might be. You might be, you know, moving, but in the wrong direction. But you'll see people start coming alongside you. Be like, oh, no, I. Let's go. Let's go this way. And you'll get to the destination quicker for sure. If you want to. What is this? What do they say? If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go with a team. [01:04:48] Speaker B: Right? [01:04:49] Speaker A: Go together. Absolutely. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And I heard. I heard John Maxwell talk about momentum, where he actually used a train as an example. And so he just talked about a train going, its going, you know, his normal speed. Weathers? I dont know, 60 miles. Lets just say at 60, train has momentum and is pulling its cargo and it comes across a brick retaining wall. With the momentum it was able to generate, it's actually able to go through that, that that brick retaining wall. But now let's say that that train is stopped and you just throw a two by four across the railroad track. That train is not going anywhere. And it's like the small things, even you think about how big a train is. But that small piece of two x four can prevent that train from moving. Right. You really have to be great visual. [01:05:47] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. [01:05:50] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. So, like, how do you blend, like, coaching and mentoring, you know, into the role of, like, just, you know, using gospel and, like, just within the music and interacting with your fans. [01:06:09] Speaker A: Really honestly. And this is like, going to sound so cliche. It's the flight assessment. I utilize the flight assessment. You know, my faith, of course, is first and scripture is always first. But there's, you know, we can pull other tools in the flight assessment for me because it has afforded me the ability to know who I am. And I accept. I have embraced who I am. I am a full fledged flight attendant, which means I know it. And what it means is I care more about the experience than anything else. You know, I'm so, I'm like 99 flight attendant, and I have 77 grounds crew. Grounds crew is the helper. That's the, you know, the behind the scenes. Like, I'm going to do some things that you may never thank me for or you may never even see me doing it, but I'm going to make sure that you have what you need. [01:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:06] Speaker A: And so, and then I'm a 51 pilot, which serves me great because I have other pilots in my life. I don't need to be a 99 pilot because I have great wise counsel in my life that can make decisions. And the pilot, of course, are very results oriented. And so when you have a partnership of a pilot and a flight attendant and a ground screw, and then of course, we have the air traffic controller, which I have almost zero. Okay. Because that's the, that's the details. Right. Air traffic controller we talked about earlier is like the detail oriented, like the process. Right. The air traffic controller needs to go through the process because in their minds, if I don't cross every t and dot, every I lives are at risk. [01:07:54] Speaker B: That's right. [01:07:54] Speaker A: You know, if we're being literal in the analogy. And so I'm very rebellious against, you know, I do. I am a rule follower, but I'm also a rule bender. Right. If the rules are too boring, come on, we gotta have a good experience around here. Okay. So for me, it's like finding that balance of, you know, my flight attendant, as wonderful as she is, she'll get me kicked out of a room just as quick as she got me into the room. And so I have to govern how much I share, how much I talk and, you know, read the room is so important for me. And so knowing that allows me to navigate myself so that I'm not a threat, you know, because I might come off intimidating if I just. If I just kick in the door and I just start blabbing my mouth, that might be intimidating. There might be introverts that are in there that are not going to take kindly to such a big extroverted personality. And so it's just allowed me to really learn me. And then I get to get to the root, you know, I get to dig to the root of problems much faster because I'm just. I'm being my authentic self. I know when to say yes. I know when to say no. If somebody presents an opportunity for me that's not an alignment with who I am, I'm not going to even put us in a position to fail. Now, do I take risks? Absolutely. Do I try new things? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because that's what life is all about. And I want to turn over every stone in this life, you know? But it has really allowed me to approach any situation with authenticity. And when you walk into a situation with authenticity, it encourages other people to be authentic as well. And so I think the more of us that we can operate in our own authenticity, the world would be a better place because we wouldn't have all this fake AI, social media, you know, who's. Who is this a real person? Is this real or memorex? For those of my people that have been around for a while, you remember what that is. So, yeah, so it just allows me to have quality, quality relationships without all the fluff, because you're not going to be able to be around me and not be positive or not be authentic. You're just not. Because I demanded of myself. And by being that light in the room, people that don't have that, they'll exit stage left. They will remove themselves without me even needing to make a decision of, is this person good for me or not good for me. They'll remove themselves from my life because they. They can't handle it. They don't want to be around all this positivity. Well, I can't complain. No. I can't gossip. No, no. Let's talk about something else. [01:11:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:08] Speaker B: That is funny that you say that, because I'm actually planning something for some of the people that I actually supervise at work, and I already know. So one of the rules is when we get. When we get to this place and we start hanging out, nobody's talking about work. Right? Right. [01:11:31] Speaker A: Easier said than done, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. That's good, though. That's a good boundary to have it is. [01:11:38] Speaker B: Right. But at the. At this phase, before I let you go, at this phase in your life, like, how would you define success? [01:11:50] Speaker A: Hmm. I think at this stage in my life, it's going to be financial success. I think that I'm at the point now where I'm measuring, you know, I have the emotional. Maybe the emotional success mentality, spiritual, musical. I have a lot of success where that's concerned. I feel more comfortable in my skin than I ever have at any stage of my life. I feel, you know, as a woman, I feel beautiful. I feel nurtured. I feel like I've surrounded myself with amazing people. So if I look at the fruit of the spirit, I'm successful. Right. The. The challenge is the financial success. And that. That has been my focus this year is, like, I want to get to the point where I really feel like I have financial freedom. And being an entrepreneur is, you know, it's challenging. It's a. It's a hustle, hard, you know, mentality. And as a single woman, I thought for sure by now I would have a covering, you know, that I'd be able to partner with a husband. You know, I don't know why this keeps coming up, Derek, but, you know, I'm just being obedient. I'm being obedient to. Okay, but that's, you know, that's also a. What would be a measure of success. You know? I want to be in a position where I'm ready to be a wife like I really am, you know, and I could say, oh, I'm ready. I could. You know, there's a lot. There's a lot that goes into it, so. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. [01:13:33] Speaker B: Yeah. That's good. That is good. I love it. There were so many bombs and nuggets that we actually talked about. Just our faith and everything. Right. It's for real. Yeah. This is. I think this is going to help a lot of people just get to the. To the next level and elevate them to whatever it is they want to accomplish. And that's the mission? That's the mission. [01:13:59] Speaker A: Absolutely. [01:14:01] Speaker B: Where can. Where can people find you? [01:14:04] Speaker A: On social media, always on social media. The website is ashlyncole.com. you can find merchandise there. If you want to support merchandise. I do coaching. You can schedule coaching on ashlandcole.com, and that's vocal coaching as well as just life coaching. So my organization is called find your voice. And so that has to do with singers, but it also is for speakers. You know, if you're a public speaker, and, you know, if you're having challenges with your voice or any coaching. So I do all that social media. Instagram, that's usually where I'm. That's usually where I hang out, is on Instagram. [01:14:47] Speaker B: That's it. [01:14:48] Speaker A: And. But, yeah, Facebook and then all the other stuff. I don't really. I don't really fool with all the rest of it at this point, but. That's right, yeah. But reach out to me. You can, you know, you can. You can dm me and, and, and be in contact with me. And if you need encouragement or you need prayer, have people, you know, send me messages and ask me to pray for them or pray for their families. So it's really awesome. So, social media, you know, I had for years, like, had a love hate relationship, but I have really. I have really seen that it is ministry. My social media works as ministry, and it has given me the ability to reach people that I can't physically get to, but I can spiritually get to them. I can emotionally get to them and encourage people on a level that I would not have been able to do without social media. [01:15:39] Speaker B: That's what I'm talking about. Thank you. Ashlyn, co. She's in the house, y'all. [01:15:45] Speaker A: Thank you, Derek. This is so nice. Thank you so much for having me. And, yeah. Much success to you. And just keep, you know, keep doing what God is calling you to do, because it is the word on the street. [01:15:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:58] Speaker A: Is that you are really, really helping people. So keep doing it. [01:16:04] Speaker B: Hey, I want to thank Ash and Cole for coming on this episode. Why not you? Music is powerful, and it can heal people. And there's so many things I just, I loved about her story. One was being from having a father who is an atheist mom who was agnostic, did not believe, and God, she didn't have that foundation right growing up, but at the same time, her parents cared and loved her. And so that's one thing I just want to, like, hone on real quick, is that you cannot disregard somebody else's upbringing or how they care for their kids based on religion. And I think having those kind of conversations can actually bring another perspective that actually enhance not only the way we think, but just the power of having interfaith dialogue. But Ashlynn's testimony was remarkable. You just think about somebody who's tried to commit suicide, overcome breast cancer, and now she's singing. She's singing, and she's teaching other people how to do the same thing. Music is a healing to the soul, and she got into that. And she talked about so much, and there's so many takeaways from just meditation, faith, prayer, proper breathing techniques. But one thing you can never do is be that, that person on the island thinking that you could do everything and anything without somebody else's help. There's no such thing, especially if you want to be successful. I'm not just talking about in your endeavors, but I'm talking about life. You need somebody to help you. That's just the way it is. But next week, y'all, next week, we gonna keep it going. I'm having Kelsey Nicole Nelson, who's a sports broadcaster. Y'all gonna love her because not only she tearing it up in sports with producing and, and hosting and working for these companies such as ESPN, Valley Sports and Fox Sports, but she's also elevating youth. She's helping them with education and reading. No kid left behind, y'all. No kid left behind. But we gonna get into it. I just want to thank you guys for watching. Be sure to subscribe, share the word. We gonna keep it moving. Deep wells. And why not you? I'm out. But before we go, we cannot become what we need if what we remain where we are. God bless you. See you next week. Bye.