[00:00:00] Speaker A: And this is your host, dwells on y Niu. And I am excited about this episode today because we got it kicked off, right? Got it kicked off with some prayer, y'all. And so after the prayer kicked in, we just let it flow. Now, we all know somebody that's, you know, gone through some kind of trial that actually made them dig deep and rediscover who they are and what their purpose is, because sometimes it can actually derail us and take us off our course for a little while. So we have to reassess and make those proper adjustments to get back into the game. But Keisha, she's going to share her powerful journey from facing divorce to balancing multiple roles and the healing process that inspired her book. I feel better already. Don't miss this inspiring conversation, because it's about resilience, faith, and finding harmonies and life's challenges. So tune in now and transform your mindset, because we're about to get in. Let's go.
[00:00:58] Speaker B: Welcome to another episode of why not you? With your host, Derek Wells, where we talk with leaders and entrepreneurs who are doing what they love to do. They'll share insights into overcoming adversity, the systems they use, along with the power of personal growth, faith, and much more. Our goal is to empower you with personal growth, faith, and a plan for ultimate success. Now, here's Derek with another life changing story.
[00:01:30] Speaker C: All right, ladies and gentlemen, man, welcome to another episode of why not you? This is your host, Dee Wells.
[00:01:36] Speaker D: I'm sorry.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: Go ahead.
[00:01:38] Speaker D: Okay. Like I said, it's been a lot. Can we pray, please?
[00:01:41] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:01:43] Speaker D: Okay.
Let him be receptive. Okay. Our father, who are in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thank you for breaking us up this morning, starting us on our way. God, thank you for Derek's receptivity to prayer. And I'm sorry I didn't pray before I came on and did the makeup and stuff. I thank you for this podcast interview being. Interview being what you want it to be. Let my words speak your words. Let my words be your words. Let go of anything that happened to them and just bring you in, bring you into both of his questions and my conversation. Let it be light. Let it be what everybody on the his podcast viewers need, and then my audience needs as well. I thank you for giving us both this opportunity as entrepreneurs and full time employees to continue to have the stamina and the energy and the grace and the forgiveness of ourselves and our learning curve, all the different things that we're learning about business, about technology.
Let us be able to do everything with ease and effortlessness and keep the joy in our job. Our jobs is to inspire and to give hope and give laughter and give light. So, I thank you for Derek giving me this opportunity, and I thank you for giving him the opportunity to give him this platform. So, I thank you for just having your way in. We love you and praise you and thank you for everything you do for us all the time.
Thank you for allowing me that.
[00:03:01] Speaker C: Amen.
[00:03:05] Speaker E: Now, we really got us kicked off, right? Right?
[00:03:08] Speaker D: Yeah. This is gonna be great now.
[00:03:11] Speaker E: That's right.
[00:03:14] Speaker C: All right, so, here we go. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your host, Dee Wells. And this is another episode of why not you? And I have a special guest, Keisha Chanel, who is a life coach, healer, podcaster, author. She is killing it, y'all.
[00:03:34] Speaker E: I just want to welcome her.
How you doing?
[00:03:39] Speaker D: I'm fantastic. I am fantastic. How are you doing today?
[00:03:43] Speaker E: I'm doing good. I am doing well.
[00:03:48] Speaker C: I'm glad.
[00:03:49] Speaker D: I just love that laugh.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: So, how's everything been going, like, you know, with everything you got? I mean, I know you're doing a lot, and I know sometimes life gets in a way and we have to slow down and reflect and reassess. But you still here. You know what I'm saying?
[00:04:09] Speaker D: I'm still here. I'm still here. And a friend of mine sent me a text not too long ago about life, be life, and be God begotten. And I was like, okay, that's the reminder. That's the reminder, because different things are gonna happen, and I'm a full time employee. In addition to being, like, all the things that you said, an author and speaker and a podcaster and a mama, you know, it's like, I've got all the things and all the hats, but, you know, I just have to continue to keep going, and God gives me grace, and I'm really, really grateful for that.
[00:04:41] Speaker C: That's right. Huh. Wow. So, how. I mean, you do have a lot going on. I mean, is there. Is there a such thing as balance.
[00:04:50] Speaker E: Or you just make it happen?
[00:04:53] Speaker D: I had another conversation about this very recently because we were talking about work life balance as being. Because pretty much all the entrepreneurs in the coaching world and in the author world that I know we all have full time jobs, in addition to us going for this thing of us being coaches and helping people and inspiring people and doing what we feel like God put all our heart to do, it's like, it's not. There's no such thing as work life balance because balance means that everything's even like saying equity, um, equivalent of a mother of being, well, some of us are wives and, uh, being the full time employee and being an entrepreneur, there's equal balance to all of it, but there is no such thing as that balance. But the goal is harmony so that you can have a general, so because some days entrepreneurs priority and some full time employees priority, and sometimes mama is priority and sometimes some people wife is priority. It's about harmony and being able to do it with ease and peace and we're taking a break from all of it sometimes. But harmony, and when the goal is harmony is a little bit more realistic than that.
Yeah.
[00:05:58] Speaker C: Now how many kids do you have?
[00:06:00] Speaker D: I have two. My son is 23 next week.
[00:06:03] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:06:03] Speaker D: And my daughter's 21.
[00:06:06] Speaker C: All right.
Because I was going to ask because I wasn't sure like what the age was. And also, and I know sometimes, like when you talk about, you know, here we are, we still have our full time jobs and we're doing this extra stuff on the side. I know sometimes that could get in the way, you know, how would you, I was gonna, well, since they're older, I guess it really wouldn't matter. But, but at the same time, you do have a lot going on and I'm sure that sometimes they want your time.
[00:06:37] Speaker D: Yeah, they want my time, but not as much. Now my daughter's in college and her time is like, but it's funny, but my son told me, like, whenever they need me, I'm there for them emotionally, but this is like when they need me. Like, my son doesn't really need money. My son, you don't need emotion sometimes. And my daughter, sometimes she'll need money, sometimes she'll need emotion. But whatever it is, I try to be there and then because they're, because they're older, it gives them a little bit more priority because they're not here all the time. And as an empty nester, it gives a whole nother level of parenting because it's like, you have kids, right?
[00:07:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:12] Speaker D: And how old are yours?
[00:07:13] Speaker C: So we have a blended family.
So the youngest is 1718 and then my daughter is 26.
[00:07:24] Speaker D: When he said, oh, okay, so you got one in high school still. So what you'll find what foundation was true for me and I found for other empty nesters, it's like afterwards, after they've moved out, after they've gotten a little bit of life they'll share with you like, hey, this was this and I remember this, it's like those little, small little things, like we can stress about so much as parents and trying to make sure they do all of this, but it's like little things like traveling different places and spending time laughing and watching tv. Small things like that are really important to them. So it's like. But you don't find that owl until they're groaning out the house.
But in the meantime, you just know that you're doing the best that you can do, you know? And it's, you know?
[00:08:04] Speaker E: Right.
[00:08:07] Speaker C: So I know you. You published a book last year.
[00:08:11] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:13] Speaker C: I have to know, like, what was the driving force behind that?
[00:08:19] Speaker D: Well, the driving force behind that was, well, my, I think driving first behind that was my second. My first book, actually, my first book was called crying, forgive, learn, and move on. And I was part of a compilation of authors, ten authors. We wrote about our stories of crying, forgiving, learning, and moving on.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:08:36] Speaker D: And each of us had a chapter, and my chapter was about how molestation affected my marriage and how I had to learn how to forgive myself for all the different things that I blamed my ex husband. And so because of my healing journey from that book, I wrote. Well, and actually, I started my first book before I started the second one. And so my second one that my newest bestseller is called, I forget. I forget myself. I'm sorry. I feel better already. Your journey with self discovery and self confidence, and that is a 30 day journey of healing. And the basis of it was my healing journey, because, like I said, with my kid being gone, and I recognized when my ex husband was gone, my kids were gone, it was in my, you know, different things with my job, I recognized it was just me. It was nobody else I could blame, and it was me. I had to be. Had to really look inward, see what was going on with me, and how did I affect all these different things. And it was a healing journey that I went on. And I call it my feel better formula. And so it's like, I gotta share this with the world. And it was something that God put on my heart and a fast. And so this is like, oh, my goodness, I gotta share this. So it was just fantastic. It's just a, like, blessing to sell on my lap.
[00:09:51] Speaker C: I know sometimes, I mean, just getting to a place like that where you have to forgive, that could be a little difficult, but then also just kind of confronting those things that, you know, it's the past. Right. And so it's like, you really have to be intentional with, okay, I'm about to put myself in a vulnerable spot with myself.
That could be. That could be tough. For a lot of people. I mean, how. How are you actually able to. To get through that part?
[00:10:19] Speaker D: Well, prayer and the fact that I had an author coach. Yeah, I have a better coach. The publisher is actually. Was also my coach as well. Her name is Almina Mays. Her company is called create your reality publishing. And she kind of guided me through the whole thing and to be. And that's why it took two years, because it was stop and start. Stop and start. Oh, I can't share this. I can't talk about this. And it was just like, you know. Yeah, you need to talk about it, because there's a lot of stuff that I talk about in my book about my divorce and about the toxic. Infatuate, the toxic feeling and love that I have for my ex husband getting over, you know, the love for his whole family. Because, like, when you divorce, you don't just divorce, man. You divorce the whole family. And it's like. And we were married for 26 years and together for 30, so it was like, it wasn't just a. Oh, you know, just a walk in the park. I mean, we've had lots of time, memories, and hearts together, so it was a lot to let go and break free from. So it's like, yes, some women's guy need to know, or some. Maybe a man needs to know how to handle this. And, like, they're not the only one thing, right?
[00:11:29] Speaker C: Yeah. Because there are a lot of people who. I mean, who go through something like that or similar. And I know, just like with. Because I was married before also. And, I mean, you're right, y'all.
It's not only you divorcing that person, but it's the families that are involved in. And so then you kind of figure out, well, dang, is it still cool to talk to this person? Right?
[00:11:51] Speaker E: You don't say, or can I talk to this person? But everything is cool.
[00:11:56] Speaker C: Like the.
Like the nieces and nephews that I had, you know, if I see them to this day, they still call me uncle dude. And, I mean, so it's in that. That part right there is cool, but at the same time, you still have to deal with yourself and. And then just move on. Because there were some times also where I just kind of felt like, man, how's God gonna use me? I made this promise or this commitment.
Do I feel worthy enough to do the things that God really wants me to do? So it's a lot that you actually have to unpack yourself.
[00:12:32] Speaker E: It is.
[00:12:33] Speaker D: A lot of times, it's so easy just to blame the other person so easy.
But when you're, you know, when you're really real, especially when you recognize a pattern, you know, so it's like, yeah, you got to get that pattern together when you recognize it.
[00:12:46] Speaker C: Yeah. So when you, when it comes to just, you know, you getting on the microphone and doing some podcasting, what is.
[00:12:55] Speaker E: What are some of the things you like to talk about and discuss?
[00:12:59] Speaker D: Oh, whatever my life, whatever happens in my life, I think what I'm going to talk about when I more lately, I'm getting ready to have surgery, and so it's going to be a healing journey from that. I'm going to have my knee replaced. So I think I'm going to talk about that. And I'm also going to talk about dating because I did talk about emotional eating, which was something that I struggled with for a long, long time, but I recognize that I still do it and I didn't, I felt, I felt authentic about some, but it was like, it was like crickets, the rally, so many people, you know, we struggle with it and it's like, it's a comfort and we don't want to give it up. So, but the, what I've recognized, too, is the dating piece because it's like, and I don't really necessarily want to stop my emotional eating. I want to cut it down some but not stop it completely. So it's like, yeah, I'm not going to even talk about this anymore. But what I'm definitely going to talk about is dating, because dating is a whirlwind for me. Dating after 50, after divorce, and after disappointment. All three have such, they all have such emotion for me, all different aspects of that, so. And date, I do want to get remarried, so I am going to have to date. And that was part of why I took such a long break off social media. Getting over this breakup that I recently had, it was just like, I gotta go back. And it's like, and I've met so many different people, men and women, that are like, oh, I don't even want to deal with it anymore. And I was like, but you want to find love again, you'll have to do it. And I was like, no, I just don't drop them into Amazon, man. I'm like, that's not realistic, you know? And so I want to inspire people. It's like, yes, we've had heartbreak. Yes, we've had divorce, but it's like, if we want to do this thing, we've got to do it. So I want to be a dating encourager. I'm nowhere near dating coach, because if I was, I'd be married, but I want to be a dating encourager. It's like, yeah, you can get back out there. We can have a little fun together. You know, I want to hope in that area, because I see a lot of people that are very disheartened in that area, so I just want to inspire hope and just kind of share my journey and just kind of share my journey with life after. After 50 and after divorce and after molestation and all the different hurts that I've experienced and traumas that there's hard days, and then there's a lot of good days, too.
[00:15:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
Now, do you think that you actually do, like, another collaboration like you did with the book? Like, just collaborate with some. Some like minded people who might want to do something?
[00:15:29] Speaker D: It depends.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:15:33] Speaker D: Yeah. It depends on what the cost is, what the.
The exposure would be, you know, who the collaborative people are. My first experience was incredible. It was really, really good bonding experience with the other ladies, and it was also my first. You know, we made Amazon bestsellers, was like, oh, my God. Really? You know, so it was a really, really great experience. So that's how I have to sell it. Yeah. So it just, like, say, it depends, but it was. I would recommend it to anybody else's, you know, that want. That has that dream of being an author. And it's a good way to start, because you only have a chapter that you're responsible for versus a whole book. Yeah, it was like, my. My book alone is 332 pages, so. Versus. My chapter is, like, 20, so it's just like, not even 20. I think it's, like, ten. So I was like, that. Versus 332. It's like, yeah. You know, that's what their goal is, just to say that they're an author. It just depends. Yeah, I'm open to it.
[00:16:31] Speaker E: I heard that.
[00:16:33] Speaker C: Now, how big is God wants me to do something.
[00:16:36] Speaker D: It's just like, I'm open to trying new things, you know, because I'm 50, and it's just like, I don't want to be sitting on the sidelines all the time. I want to do stuff, you know? So I'm open to opportunities as they come.
[00:16:50] Speaker C: Right.
It's funny that you actually mentioned sidelines. I just. I recently wrote something about. About being on the sideline. It was only, like, a few paragraphs because I'm gonna start doing some different things. But it's, you know, sometimes people, they get mad when they. On the sidelines. But then you think about being on the sideline. It also kind of gives you a chance to kind of reassess and reflect and give you another perspective. Because sometimes, excuse me, sometimes we think we're ready to get in, get in.
[00:17:29] Speaker E: The game, and whether it's football, basketball.
[00:17:33] Speaker C: Whatever it is, when in reality you're really not, you might just need to set it out because maybe it's just some mental stuff going on that you might be too amped up and you might not be focused enough. But at the same time, sometimes being on the sideline is a good thing. It's not always bad.
[00:17:54] Speaker D: Exactly. And I think, but I think that's like, even with the dating piece, because I would make that, you know, that preference, because sometimes we do need heat time just to heal and chill out. Because if you're, you know, especially if you're in a codependent place and you're in it just to receive love from validation from somebody else, that's not going to necessarily work. You need to sit on the sidelines that time. But if it's because of fear, you know, so I think it's like the sideline thing is if it's because, you know, had some kind of setback or you've had some kind of thing where you need to hear from God, need to be alive. But then there's also times when you know that it's fear and you can kind of feel it in your heart and spirit, like, what, what the thing is. And so if there's any part of it, it's fear. You need to go forward. But if it's just, like, you're not completely clear, it'll be okay. We're doing the sideline thing. I agree with that.
[00:18:41] Speaker C: Yeah. So when it. When it comes to fear, though, like, I know it could just straight paralyze people, but at the same time, fear is one of those things that once you get over it and you actually initiate some kind of movement, you like, oh, man, why didn't I do this earlier? You know, it's not as bad as we make it out to be sometimes. And I think sometimes it has to do with the past as well, but for the most part, it's just doing something spectacular to give yourself.
[00:19:18] Speaker D: Yeah. So much has to do with the past. But I think a lot of it is expectation. You know, it's like we're expecting things to be so much worse than they are. Especially we had some kind of setback. Like, one time, we take that one time, whether it was a childhood or teenage years or adulthood even, you know, as thinking that everything else that you touch is going to turn crap, you know? And that's not necessarily true. It's like, we make it to be this big, massive thing, you know? But that whole thing about false evidence appearing real is so true. Yeah.
So it's just like.
But it's so true. It is. I think there's another one acronym. Fear every. Or face everything and run, but you're running towards it. Can't remember how the acronym closed.
[00:20:09] Speaker C: I don't remember that one.
[00:20:10] Speaker E: I'm not familiar with that one.
[00:20:12] Speaker D: Yeah, I think it's basic.
I don't remember, but, yeah, something like that. Basically, we have to face it. Yeah, but it's. It's really. But it's so. Oh, my God. But it seems so real, you know? Like, it can be really paralyzing. Like, I equate it to, like, quicksand. Do you remember the Tarzan movies?
[00:20:33] Speaker C: Uh huh.
[00:20:34] Speaker D: And, like, the Tarzan movies and how they would. That's the only time that you would see quicksand, you know, and it was just like, the person could just be sinking. It's like the more you struggle to get out, the more you sink, you know? But when you just relax, you know, somebody can pull you out a lot easier. So when you relax and then trust, and it's just like, just try it a little bit.
It'll be so much easier, you know?
[00:20:58] Speaker C: Right.
[00:21:00] Speaker D: Like that. That fear like that for me, because it's like, when I'm scurrying around, it's like, oh, it just. I just. And run at the same place, you know, and it doesn't for me, but when I relax, just take it easy and go and pray. It's a lot better.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:21:15] Speaker D: And then also, support has really helped help for me, too, with fear, just like, okay, I recognize that. That's what this is. Just close my eyes. Do it.
[00:21:28] Speaker C: Now. Speaking of support, like, howard, how do you. How do you choose your circle of influence, like, those in your circle that you can actually lean and depend on and go to in a confidential way and get some. Some feedback or whatever the. I mean, whatever it is that you actually need at that. At that particular time?
[00:21:48] Speaker D: I love that question. And the funny thing for me is, I've never asked for my circle. God has always given me my circle, and my circle has come from different seminars that I've gone to, different conferences that I've gone to, different organizations that joined, like, my coaching group, my, um.
It was a group from a coach, her name was Marshawn Evans Daniel. She had the collective clothes now, but there was, it was worldwide, and I got the ladies in the Atlanta area together. That was a circle. Um, I went to a retreat in, um, Texas a couple years ago, and they became a circle. And it was just like all these different places that I've met people and gelled with them, but I've never really prayed, you know, God send me my circle. He has always sent me people that have been, like, really, really supportive, and it's just like, hey, you know what? People that I need to, when I reach out and say, hey, I'm really, really going through this, or they'll reach out and say, hey, I'm really, really going through this.
[00:22:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:50] Speaker D: You know, we can share and support each other like that. So it's been a case where there, these are like minded people. They just reach out, and I have a tendency to be kind of vulnerable sometimes, and when I show my vulnerability, they show theirs, and it's like I can get the support that I need in that way.
[00:23:10] Speaker C: Yeah. Wow, that's good.
What's the name of the coaching organization you're part of?
[00:23:18] Speaker D: Her name is Rebecca Len Pope, and her coaching is abundant life university.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Okay.
Wow.
[00:23:26] Speaker D: Abundant life path universe. Yeah.
[00:23:30] Speaker C: Now, how long you got? Yeah. Now, how long you been associated with that group?
[00:23:35] Speaker D: Three, maybe four years now. I think it might be four years.
[00:23:39] Speaker C: Okay.
Now, do you go to any other, like, as far as, like, seminars or anything for, for personal development? Because I know that's huge. Right. So you have to.
[00:23:53] Speaker D: All the time. Yeah. I follow a lot of people on social media, and if their thing is like, it's a good, affordable price and the time works. Yeah.
[00:24:00] Speaker C: I go, yeah.
[00:24:01] Speaker D: And sometimes they haven't been price, but I've still got. It just kind of depends on, you know, the situation and the timing. But, yeah, I love, I love personal development. And what I'm finding is that business development is personal development because as long as I have to. Because these things, the business things scare me, and these business things is like, you know, what God puts on my heart is like, I would try it, you know? So it's like another level of something, you know, it's like another level to aspire to. It's like a challenge to face. Like you mentioned before about the mailchimp things and, like, for, for the long time, one thing was canva trying to get canva figured out and trying to get that, the emails to be pretty and get the post to be pretty. And it was just like the struggle. I called it my canva chronicles because it was just like, oh, trying to water. But again, like, with the quicksand. Well, like, well, now we'll just relax and let go and just take my time. Right now, I feel so. No, so easily. And it's just like, my posts are pretty decent. I'd say I'm pretty proud of it, you know, but it took a little bit of time, so. But I find that business development is personal development given, you know, giving myself grace and some forgiveness and accepting myself where I am, allowing myself to be a beginner, and then allow myself to have progress, too, and not being afraid to make more progress. So it's definitely been a journey, my entrepreneurial journey, helpful for my healing.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: Well, that's good. Now, who are some of your favorite people to follow?
[00:25:34] Speaker D: I follow King Ashley Ann. I followed Darius Daniels, my pastor.
I follow.
Gosh, I haven't been on social media in a while, though. I follow Tabitha Brown.
I follow God. There's Jerry Flowers.
Oh, I love Myra golden.
[00:25:55] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:25:57] Speaker D: Gold. Danny.
I'm Rebecca. Rebecca and Pope. I'm gonna follow you.
So, yeah, I follow that field.
[00:26:09] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:26:10] Speaker C: Byron golden, he's a. I like him also. I mean, especially with the fact that, you know, he incorporates scripture into it. And that's fascinating.
[00:26:22] Speaker D: Everything's from the Bible, but he breaks it down on a level like, wow.
[00:26:28] Speaker C: Yeah. And I like that. I like that piece of it.
[00:26:33] Speaker E: Actually.
[00:26:33] Speaker C: I know a couple of people who actually had opportunity to be on stage with them, and they just. They talked about how awesome that was, so that was. It's good.
It's good. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Personal development is so huge. And I think, you know, one of the people I follow and part of his organization, who is John Maxwell, and he always talks about, you know, we can't become what we need if we remain where we are. So you have to grow.
[00:27:10] Speaker E: You have to grow in order to grow others. Right.
[00:27:13] Speaker C: So otherwise, everybody just be stuck second, a place of complacency and just.
They'll miss. They'll miss the mark, they'll miss the, you know, what they're called for or called to do, their purpose, whatever it may be.
I know everybody's different, but everybody can impact somebody some way or another in.
[00:27:36] Speaker D: The simplest ways, too, you know? And I think we take for granted how we can impact people. And I don't know about you, but lately I've been faced with so much death. Like, in my full time job, I'm faced with a lot of death. I work in dialysis so people die around me all the time, but also in my personal life, I've been faced with a lot of death, particularly people my age are younger. And it's like, it makes you realize that, that life is short and it has to be enjoyed, but it also has to be inspiring, because when somebody you know will die, it's like you have to remember. It's like, what are they going to remember about you? It's like if they remember a thing that you sat on the couch and watched tv all back one day.
[00:28:17] Speaker C: Mm hmm.
[00:28:17] Speaker D: You know, they'll remember that, too. But if you watch tv with a person, you know, they'll remember how you made them feel. So it's important, even if it's just one person, if you make that one person feel amazing and you sit on the couch and watch tv all the time with a person or share your story with the person, as long as there's somebody that when you leave the earth, they. They think of you with a smile on your face. On their face. I think that's a good thing.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: That's right. That's right. Adding value to people is so huge. And just kind of taking the time to get to know people, I think that's one of the reasons why, you know, we, you might have good intentions, but it takes time to get to know people because you have to invest in them. And if you're not willing to invest in them, you know, this is, I mean, it's just not going to happen. It's not going to happen through osmosis. Right, exactly.
[00:29:10] Speaker D: And they can tell because it's a lot of, you know, the whole, hi, how are you? And it's like they really don't care. It's just like a bit to say, hi, how are you? Especially if they say, I'm fine, how are you? I'm fine, how are you? And it's like you already asked them that. So you obviously just a flippant way to. Just a general greeting, you know? But the one who really does care, you know, who takes the time to get to know you and your family and what you like and what you don't, you know, or recognizing that, you know, your smile is off or your, you know, your countenance is different. That's what somebody can really care, and that means so much.
[00:29:48] Speaker C: You know, it does.
[00:29:54] Speaker E: That's the truth. That is the truth.
[00:29:57] Speaker C: So, so what? So what are some of your up and coming projects that you actually have coming up?
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Well, I love that you mentioned that. I'm a podcaster, so this is, like, I'm gonna get back out there and do my podcast. I've been on a hiatus, so I'm gonna get my podcast going back on it and make it an official podcast. So I think that's gonna be the biggest thing. And also, I don't know, just sharing more of my life, because I think what happens is that when. Because I'm so used to seeing on social media, you see, other people would share only their highlight feel. And when my. When I have a down place, I, like, I'm more of a.
Yes, I'm an introvert, but I'm also a person who.
I don't always share my hard times. I don't like to call people for support with a hard time, so I'll call. Keep it there. I will call people for support with business, but not so much personal life as much depending on the person. I don't like to lean heavily on another person because of my history of codependency. I just don't want to do that.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:01] Speaker D: But at the same time, just, like, that stronger thing. So it's a fine line, but I would like to show a little bit more of the. Of the hard time that's like, it's okay, you know? And it's like, to share a little hard time, but ended on a positive note that I'm gonna get through this, and it's just like. But I want to share people that, because I kind of recognize that when I went. When I ghosted for those two months, like, I could have shared, shared, you know, that the. What. The hard time actually was, what caused it knowing it was going to be okay. So I might do that a little bit.
[00:31:37] Speaker C: Yeah, that's good. Yeah, you have to. I know. That's one of the things, because, I mean, anything you see, like, on social media seems like nowadays, it's all the glitz and the glamour, but it's not so much the struggle. It doesn't have to be like, oh, you know, it's funny because I'll just.
[00:31:58] Speaker D: Show it with light.
[00:32:00] Speaker E: Right.
[00:32:02] Speaker D: Oh, my God. It's lifting. I don't want to do that.
[00:32:06] Speaker C: Right.
[00:32:06] Speaker D: You know, I want to be. But be authentic, human. But also, this is, like, the fine line of making it.
[00:32:14] Speaker C: That's why, I mean, it can even be something as far as, like, which, I mean, you experienced just with writing and, you know, just, like, part of that journey. I mean, especially, like, if you were to chronicleize that and just kind of shared as you were doing it or whatever, and, man, this is one of those days, I gotta put the pin to the pad, and I really don't feel like doing it, but I gotta.
[00:32:38] Speaker E: Do it, you know?
[00:32:40] Speaker D: That's a good idea. What kind of book would you like to read? I mean, like, if I would, if I would come up with something, what kind of thing would you be interested in? What kind of topics?
[00:32:50] Speaker C: Oh, snaps. I think right now is. Is more emotional and past and how the emotion or how the past really plays effect with the emotions and it takes us out of the present because, I mean, if you always reflecting on the past or reflecting on some kind of hardship, you're never present, you're never 100% in, you're not bought in to whatever it is that you're working on.
And so how do you get out of that? And so just a thought. And I, you know, I kind of got that from.
[00:33:36] Speaker D: But that takes a lot of effort.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: Right.
[00:33:39] Speaker D: Okay. Okay. I'll be back.
[00:33:41] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:33:43] Speaker D: Because it's something that I've done. Because it's like, is it something that I could talk about? Like, yes, I've had to get present lots of times, so. Yeah. And I could talk about the benefit of it and the situations that'll pull you back. Because I think a lot of times, like, with the healing journey that I've been, particularly journey, and I have to give myself a lot of grace and a lot of forgiveness because I'll come to a certain point and it's like.
And then I'll fall back, especially, like, after this recent breakup. And it's like, oh, my goodness, I'm back to square one. And no, I'm actually not back to square one. This is saying the first. Right now I'm not back to square one. It's just like, we have to give ourselves grace and recognize that we're not going to be 100% every single day because ourselves exactly where we are right now. I think that can be something that can be said, too, because it's like when you don't do that, that pulls you back into your past and thinking like, oh, I'm just a piece of crap. And, oh, I can't believe this. Oh, you know, and saying all these bad things about yourself, which you further back and further back and further back, so.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Right.
[00:34:47] Speaker D: Yeah, that would be something good to talk about. So I think I might do some that.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:34:53] Speaker C: I think a lot of people would be. Would be able to benefit from it also.
[00:34:57] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah, I think it catching. Okay. And I make catchy and short because my last one was a beast.
I do that no more three parts, dude. Like, oh, that's long.
[00:35:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:35:14] Speaker E: So.
[00:35:15] Speaker D: Oh, I can't put the title that I was thinking, like, snap out of it.
[00:35:20] Speaker E: There you go.
[00:35:22] Speaker C: Snap out of it.
[00:35:24] Speaker D: Get back to the present.
But why is so important. Yeah, yeah, I could. There. Okay.
[00:35:32] Speaker C: There you go.
[00:35:32] Speaker E: There you go.
It's all about sharing ideas and expanding on it, right?
[00:35:41] Speaker D: Oh, sharing ideas and expanding on it. You know, it's important, you know?
[00:35:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:47] Speaker D: Dialogue. For me, dialogue is so important because when we are so in our heads and just. Just not talking to anybody about the stuff that's running through them, you know?
[00:35:56] Speaker C: Right.
[00:35:57] Speaker D: But, yeah, dialogue.
[00:35:59] Speaker C: Yeah, that's true.
I mean, so now that you got this stuff going on, you had the podcast books in the past, and at this phase in your life, how would you.
[00:36:11] Speaker A: How would you define success?
[00:36:15] Speaker D: I think, like, what we talked about earlier, it's like leaving the world with somebody, having fun with me. I mean, because for a long time, success was. And be honest, success is still a dollar number for me because. Especially because thing with coaching, it costs a lot of money, actually. And it's like, I'm not sure about. Well, for my podcast, it was all we. I did it on Instagram Live, so it was a cost for me besides, you know, but my lighting costs, my. My makeup costs, you know, just to. To maintain and get a nice look. My background, things. Things cost. So you want to be able to get some money from this, as well. So there is a dollar amount that's attached to success. But it's also a feeling. A feeling of satisfaction. A feeling of knowing that I did what God called me to do. Because sometimes I can be free. They'll tell me to do something, and I'll be like, oh, my goodness, no. But other times when I've done that thing, that's hard, that I felt like I'm supposed to do. Oh, my goodness. Feeling of that is.
That feels like success. Just knowing that I did what I was called to do. Oh, that feels. And then knowing that I helped somebody, getting through to somebody, you know, helping somebody, them saying, oh, I read this, and it inspired me of that success. You know, somebody handed what God wanted me to do and then make money on top of it.
That's firing on all cylinders, man.
[00:37:45] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:37:46] Speaker D: Well, that's what's up. For real.
[00:37:48] Speaker E: That's nice.
[00:37:50] Speaker D: Yeah.
What about you? What is best for you?
[00:37:54] Speaker C: It's the same thing. It's pretty much. No, it's pretty much the same thing. Doing what God has called me to do. I don't want to leave no stone unturned as far as, like, tapping into my potential or if I have an idea and it aligns with what I'm doing, hey, go after it and just take the chance and don't be fearful of it, because I think those are just the times when you just really need to go back and reflect to those people in faith right now, the Hebrews, when they're talking about the people of faith, whether it's Moses, Noah, Joseph, um, you know, Peter, uh, even. Even the lady, I'm trying to think, who was, um. All she had was one job, really. And it was the issue of love, I think. Huh?
[00:38:55] Speaker D: The lady with the issue of love?
[00:38:57] Speaker C: No, it was the, um. I can't remember the. But she was the one who actually took the spies in. Um.
Rahab. There you go.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: Rahab.
[00:39:08] Speaker C: I mean, even somebody like that, and, I mean, there's. There's so much. There's so much that we can do, but whatever reason, we don't do it, whether it's because of what other people might think or say.
And so now, is it, like, who you really living for? You living for God, or you living for worldly admiration type stuff? Recognition, and so you can't get it twisted. And so I know that's. That's one of the reasons why I'm doing the podcast and just kind of stepping out and incorporating more faith and.
Yeah, and so I already got some stuff lined up. There gonna be some short ones, just some short solo ones, maybe, you know, five to ten minutes long, where I actually talk about, where I use a particular verse of the bible and then how it relates to our life just living in the world and how we could actually apply it just to whether it's life or business or whatever it is. So, yeah, gotta take chances, right? Yeah, love it.
[00:40:20] Speaker D: And I find that whenever I did. When I through my podcast, whenever I did the one for myself, those ones that were most impactful for me, you know, it's always cool when you have a guest and you have a cool dialogue, that banter, especially if you have a good connection with the person, it's a nice thing, but the ones that you do on your own, it takes a little bit more research, it takes time, and it takes a little bit more effort for it to be engaging, for it to be, you know, just for it to be light when it's just you. That's what I found, so. But it was also very rewarding, so I did it.
[00:40:53] Speaker C: Yeah, that's right.
[00:40:54] Speaker E: So, before I let you go, I.
[00:40:58] Speaker C: Just know there's like just so many people out there who have the dreams and ideas and for whatever reason, they're not taking any kind of action on them. They just keeping them within themselves and not taking a chance or the risk.
What can you say to those people?
[00:41:17] Speaker D: I'll say to those people, a shameless plug. But to read my book, my book is called I feel better already. Your journey to self discovery and self confidence. And I say that because my book is like how I lived that journey of getting out of fear and doing something and taking action for myself. And I said earlier that my book is. Has my feel better formula and has five steps to healing from anything and just, and sometimes healing from this thing stuck in this place of fear. And the first thing that you have to do to get over anything is acceptance. You have to accept where you are, the reality of it coming out of denial, because it's so easy to blame other people, especially now, because, true, the world is like going crazy. So it's easy to blame every little problem that you have internally on the world space.
But when you take time to step back and see, recognize a pattern in yourself, recognize particularly a pattern in yourself, that's when you like different situations that keep happening multiple times. Accept the reality of what you are. Just be true with yourself. Because when you lie to your. To other people is one thing, but when you lie to yourself, it really, really is.
[00:42:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:38] Speaker D: Accepting where you are, who you are, and those things. So once you take that, that place of acceptance, then you make a decision about what you're going to do about it. And sometimes may not. Making a decision is a decision, too, because like we said, it's very, very easy. Placement is very easy to be comfortable. And what you are comfortable in, the mess that you're in, it's easy. And it's understandable because you can just kind of go along, get along, soothe those hurts, and to stay where you are, make that decision. And it's okay for you if that's what you want to do. But you can also make a decision that you want more, want to have more, you want to be more, you want to do more. And sometimes those decisions can kind of hurt. Both decisions can have emotions that come up with them. So the first step is to release all the emotions that come up. The pain, the discomfort, the blame, the shame of the things of your past, all those emotions that come up. You have to release all those. And when you release them, it gives you a clean slate so that you can build up your confidence not to force them to build up your confidence, to feel good about where you are and who you are, why you're here in the world, to get over this place of fear. And then the fifth step, which is probably the most important and takes the longest, is to fight to keep it. Because when you've had a great dialogue like you and I are having, when you, you know, recognize the sunshine on a beautiful day, hanging out with friends, have a party or something like that, and you're filled up with confidence, it feels great. But then the next day and then the day after that, so you have to fight to keep that confidence built up. And so that's what my book is about. And it helps you go through that whole process in the course of 30 days. And it's filled with scriptures, quotes, tips on how you can do it, prayers, and how I live each day of those steps. And it's 30 days. It can be done in 30 days, but it can also, excuse me, be done however long you take it, if it's a books with self paced. But I recommend that it be done in 30 days so that you can just kind of continue on this pace of doing it and just giving yourself grace the whole way and celebrating yourself.
[00:44:42] Speaker C: There you go.
[00:44:43] Speaker E: He says, celebrate your stuff. That's right.
[00:44:45] Speaker D: Yeah. So that'll be my parting thing, just to do all those steps and do all those things, whether it's my. With my book or without, it's important to have those steps in your life so that you can feel better about who you are.
[00:44:57] Speaker C: That's good. Yes, ma'am. I appreciate you coming on. That is so good right there. Y'all heard it first.
Yeah. Y'all heard it first. Ladies and gentlemen, Keisha Palmer.
[00:45:12] Speaker D: Keisha Chanel.
[00:45:18] Speaker E: Although I said probably because of the email.
[00:45:23] Speaker D: Hey, man, don't be putting my gunpick out there.
It's all good. It's all good.
[00:45:32] Speaker E: Sorry, I'm gonna have to edit that. Y'all heard it first from Keisha Chanel, y'all. That's right.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: What an incredible, credible episode. Did Keisha bring it away, y'all? She brought it, and I could feel what she was saying. Now, how important is it just to tap into your potential and confront those fears head on? You know, sometimes we have to draw on the inspiration from biblical figures such as Moses, Noah, and Joseph, and how faith in taking changes or taking chances can align with, you know, your life's purpose. And she touched on the challenges and rewards of solo podcast and insights from her book. I feel better already.
And what a great episode. Until next week, y'all. We cannot become what we need if what we remain where we are. God bless.
[00:46:27] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to this episode of why not you remember, have faith and believe in yourself. God does. Also subscribe to our channel and go to our website for more free content and life changing
[email protected]. until next time.
