Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Ever feel like life's got you stuck on a treadmill or that rocking horse? You know, that rocking horse that's, that's that stabilized, it's not moving nowhere. You see it in a park often where your kids just hang out and they just going, they going, they rocking, they sweating, they hustling, they are grinding, but they are absolutely going nowhere. Nowhere. And maybe, maybe your emotions are driving you like a bad Uber, taking you on detours that you didn't even ask for. Or perhaps stress has you reaching for your favorite dessert when you know you should not be reaching for that dessert. The truth is, you don't have to stay stuck.
[00:00:42] Life doesn't have to feel like Groundhog Day or an emotional roller coaster that just won't end. It's time to take back control of your emotions, of your choices and your purpose.
[00:00:54] And in this video, I'm going to be talking about three reasons why you shouldn't listen to your emotions. It's that secret sauce to breaking free from emotional chaos, growing in faith, and finally living the life God created for you to live. D. Wells, why not you? Let's get into it.
[00:01:12] That was me right there. I was on that rocking horse. I was grinding, I was going back and forth, sweating, not going nowhere.
[00:01:20] I was just like that. Not too long ago, I was busy checking off my to do list like a champ. But it felt like life had me on repeat. And I had those same frustrations, same outcomes, just like Groundhog Day. But it wasn't funny. And then one day, someone close to me dropped a truth bomb on me. They said, D. Wells, you don't even listen. You don't even realize it.
[00:01:47] Part of the reason why I was just caught up in my own agenda.
[00:01:52] And of course, when, when, when my friend told me this, my first instinct was to defend myself.
[00:01:58] But then it hit me.
[00:02:00] I wasn't just ignoring them, but I was ignoring myself. And that was a hard truth, but it was also a wake up call. And it was that wake up call I needed. And so today I'm talking about self awareness, that secret, right? It's that secret, that secret weapon for breaking free from that emotional chaos and actually living the life you were meant to live. Now, trust me, you don't want to miss this because you need this. If you stuck, you got that emotional chaos stuff jumping off.
[00:02:32] This is it. Because being stuck is like being in that room with, with no doors or windows, but you know there's a way out. But you just keep walking into the same walls, wondering, why is this Happening to me, it's no different than you see one of those. I'm not sure if you've actually done this before, but you've gone through one of those, those cornfield, I think it, yeah, like a cornfield maze right where the, the corn stalks are so high you can't even, you can't even jump. You can't even look above it to see which way to go.
[00:03:05] But there is a path and it's going to take you some time to figure it out. But this is some, this is, this is a lot of people's lives.
[00:03:14] And it might sound familiar to you because if you listening to this, I'm sure you actually dealt with some type of issues where your emotions just kind of took, took over and you just wonder like why, where, where is this leading? But here's the deal. When we lack self awareness, we keep making those same mistakes. Accidentally sabotaging relationships. We miss opportunities. Or worse, we start, we start blaming other people when we should be blaming ourselves or reflecting right? We blame, we blame our boss, we blame the kids, we blame the dogs, we blame the spouse. We, we blame. Look, we blame the wall for being there. We walk into the wall.
[00:03:59] That's, that's how crazy it gets sometimes.
[00:04:04] Or what we need to do is just, we just need to look in that mirror and pause for a minute.
[00:04:11] This could be one of those ouch moments for some of us. I know it was for me. But it gets better.
[00:04:18] Because self awareness is simple, but it's, it's not always easy. It's about truly understanding yourself. Your strengths, your weaknesses, your triggers and the values. More importantly, you know, it's asking yourself those tough but necessary questions. What drives me? What's keeping, what's, what's keeping me tripped up on this same thing? And how do I react under pressure?
[00:04:45] And why do I always eat three cookies when I'm stressed out?
[00:04:50] You know, when you get real with yourself, you start noticing those patterns. And here's the kicker. Those patterns actually explain a lot about why you're stuck and how to get unstuck. So how do you build self awareness?
[00:05:07] Let me break it down for you in three simple steps.
[00:05:13] Number one, emotions act before they think.
[00:05:17] That's why you need to pause and reflect.
[00:05:20] This is where it all starts taking the time to pause now when we, because we, we live in such a fast paced world and then we actually bring that into our environment.
[00:05:33] But self awareness requires intentionality and so we need to slow it down. So if you've ever noticed like how your Emotions love to jump the gun. That's a sign right there. They're like, they're like that friend who panics at the slightest hiccup.
[00:05:50] Just think about, think about your breakfast this morning. Like if you burnt a piece of toast, how did you respond to that? Because emotions shout, the day is ruined because you burnt a toast piece of bread. Stick another piece in a toaster, you'd be good to go. Or if someone cuts you off in traffic, emotions whisper, you know, they, they clearly have that personal vendetta against you. But here's the truth. When you let those emotions take the lead, you react instead of responding. That's why pausing and reflecting is so powerful.
[00:06:27] Here's a, here's a study that was, that was taken by Harvard Business School just about those people who actually reflect and who actually take the time and it said 20, 23, people who actually reflect and take that time to pause are more productive than those who don't.
[00:06:48] Reflection. Reflection isn't just about a feel good exercise. It's a game changer for growth. And so if you just take just like that, 10 to 15 minutes to ask yourself what went well today? What didn't go so well? How did I respond to these different challenges? Or what really happened here in this situation? These questions can really, they can actually change your perspective. Plus, reflection isn't just good for that mental health. It's biblical because Psalms 139, 23 says, you know, it just, not only does it say it, but it just reminds us to pray and, and ask God to search us, searches and know our heart. Test me, it says. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
[00:07:39] All that means is don't let those emotions run wild. Let God guide your thoughts instead of, instead of, instead of you. Because what's going to happen is he's going to reveal what we might miss in a rush of life.
[00:07:53] Number two, emotional.
[00:07:58] This is the cold part. Emotions hate constructive criticism.
[00:08:02] So ask yourself for feedback.
[00:08:05] Your emotions don't like being told what's wrong. That's almost like your, your mind finally controlling your body, right? Your, your, your, your body wants to give up, especially when you start exercising. You're exercising, you're getting those reps in, you're getting those sets in and your body is tired and it's like, do I listen to my body or do I push for another set or do I push for another few reps?
[00:08:34] It's the same process. It's the same, it's the same method.
[00:08:39] Those emotions, they'd rather soak in the Corner and lash out than face the truth. That's why asking for feedback is such a game changer. When you ask someone you trust, what's one thing I could do better? Now you're allowing that person to speak into you. Now you're about to. You're growing also. But now you're about to get an outside perspective that, that emotions can't provide.
[00:09:05] Sure, emotions might kick and scream. Who cares? This is, this is too harsh. That's. They gotta say. But Proverbs 27:6 says wounds from a friend can be trusted. So that feedback may sting a little, but it's there to help you grow. And honestly, wouldn't you rather hear from the hear truth from a trusted friend than be.
[00:09:29] Be in an embarrassing moment or put yourself in an embarrassing moment where you, where you allow yourselves, where you allow your emotions to take over, especially in public.
[00:09:42] That's just like one of those kids having one of those outbursts at the store because you said no.
[00:09:50] It just drives you absolutely crazy. But listen, without defending yourself. I know it can be hard when you're, when you're, when you're receiving feedback, but it works. And if feedback feels overwhelming, focus on one small area at a time. One small area. Because those, those small, consistent changes will definitely add up.
[00:10:18] Number three, Emotions are loud, but they're not always smart. That's why you have to pay attention to them without obeying them. Because your emotions are like that dashboard. You know, the, the, the dashboard lights in your car, they flash. They flash. They fashion. They're flashing vividly to grab your attention, but they're not always. They're not always accurate. They're not always a problem. And feeling frustrated and anxious or overwhelmed. Your emotions are saying, hey, there's something up. There's something up. But they don't necessarily know what's up.
[00:10:57] Yeah, that's where self awareness steps in. Pay attention to your emotions, but don't let them control you. So you need to ask, why am I feeling this way? What triggered this reaction? Because Proverbs 16:32 says, Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self control than one who takes a city.
[00:11:19] Meaning, mastering your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them. It means learning from them without giving them the keys to your life. Because emotional awareness gives you the power to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. And when we react impulsively, those decisions that we make can haunt us.
[00:11:39] They can haunt us. They have an impactful way of haunting us too, because they stay in your life or those decisions that you make. Impulsively has ability to not stay in your life for a few days, but months and years.
[00:11:55] Years.
[00:11:56] There's a number of. There's a number of people out there who probably listening, who are like, okay, I understand that one.
[00:12:03] Because those decisions that you make, the impact is huge.
[00:12:09] But here's the truth. You don't have to. You don't have to stay stuck. Because self awareness is that first step to crushing that emotional chaos and walking in faith. It's like putting on the glasses for the first time. You start to see things clearly, including the next steps you need to take. Because your emotions aren't your enemy. They're just bad decision makers. So here's my challenge to you.
[00:12:33] Start small.
[00:12:35] Take 10 minutes today to reflect or ask someone for some honest feedback and learn from those emotions instead of obeying them.
[00:12:45] You can't stop letting those emotions lead you into chaos.
[00:12:50] You need to start living with purpose.
[00:12:53] And hey, next time those emotions tell you to eat those three cookies when you're stressed, save one for later. Don't eat all three.
[00:13:06] Yes. But if you want to go deeper, if you want to go deeper and to this, check out my new book, how to Crush Emotional Chaos and Walk in Faith. It's packed with tools to help you understand yourself, growth in faith, and start living with purpose. Because you've got this.
[00:13:26] Remember, breakthroughs often start with the smallest steps. Now, girl, crush it. Just leave the cookies for dessert.
[00:13:36] Hit that subscribe button and I got a free link for you to actually read the first chapter of my book, how to Crush Emotional Chaos and Walk in Faith. God bless you, D. Wells. I'm out. See you in the next video.
